Nothing too important here.

Just a little notation of no importance.

I saw someone on a forum I read refer to a person as a "go-tard." I think this is an excellent insult.

That's it.

here's the reference: Who's the go-tard with spinners on their STi?

OK, I totally stole this link from AMG, but I thought, you, my readership would appreciate it.

The Future of Television by Conan O'Brien

There's nothing on.

This is truly sad. As Sweeps is drawing to a close, I am running out of things to watch. On live TV that is. I still have 6 episodes each of Stargate SG1 and Stargate Atlantis, 7 episodes of Battlestar Galactica, 4 episodes of MI-5 (or Snoops for the BBC watchers), 4 episodes of Joan of Arcadia, 7 or 8 episodes of Futurama I've never seen, The Ladykillers (the original, funny version), and just a ton of other stuff, which consumes all but 20 Gb of the 300 I have. I love my TiFaux (Think TiVo). I have some serious catching up to do. If you don't hear from me for several days, you'll know where I am.

Crap. I forgot. Tomorrow is the finale of Alias and Lost. Hmm. But after that. It's over. It's all over now, baby blue.

Oh, and I still have no clue what is going on this weekend, if anything.

-The Dork

This is very funny.

Ok. I know some of you might have gotten a little too much Star Wars-themed links lately, but this is very funny.

Austin, I hope that your friend Jerry isn't somewhere in here...

Parade of Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes

Fudge, Packer?

Have a Shpadoinkle day!

Saw "Cannibal: The Musical" last night at Tess's. It was quite funny. Low key was good after the shenanigans of Thursday night. Let me just say that, those Jaeger Bombs were killer. DannyC also was not aware that it was his idea to go to White Castle after the bar. White Castle did not agree with me, we'll leave it at that. Hype. We're soon off to terrorize Ann Arbor. Word.

I've always had a tendency toward the pragmatic

from Tess's...



:: how jedi are you? ::

Two words. "Princess Leia slave bikini." uhh... that was four, but whatever.

Why do I still watch this show?

I have just one small thing to say about Smallville. It makes The Brotherhood II look straight.

-The Dork

P5150005.JPG

P5150005.JPG,
originally uploaded by M Kawamoto.

See, Joyce Dewitt was at the Comic-con. She's still not blonde though.

Berkley Sty-lee

Back again to

The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee

I am cleaning up after my barbeque.

Me: Man, what happened last night? This place is a mess. Well, I better start cleaning up.
Chloe: Hey, so, you don’t remember what happened last night?
Me: Not really, I was kind of drunk last night, I mean, I have a vague idea of what happened, but I don’t remember exactly what happened.
Chloe: Could your memory have been erased by someone who had been affected by meteor rocks?
Me: No, I was just drunk last night. It has nothing to do with meteor rocks.
Chloe: Are you sure? There’s no secret that you should share with someone you trust?
Me: No, there’s no secret.
Chloe: Maybe you drank something with meteor rocks in it that would have affected your brain.
Me: No! For the last time, meteor rocks had nothing to do with it!

I step inside and close the door behind me. Chloe looks around perplexed.

Chloe: Wow. He’s fast. He must have some super-speed ability.
Me: [muffled by door] I’m inside. I came inside!
Chloe: I better go back to the Torch and see if Wall of Weird has anything about a Freak-of-the-week with meteor rock enhanced powers over memory.
Me: [muffled by door] Argghhhh! Why is the only Hot Blonde that shows up so annoying?

Hours later.
(Well, actually 2 days later, but it can be expressed as hours, so it’s like 30-some hours, but you know, hours.)

Austin and I go to the Comic-con (a.k.a. The Motor City Comic Convention). We wander around, and I buy several action figures. Then we are accosted by several dorks in costume, 2 Darth Vaders, a Wookie in a Storm Trooper uniform, Darth Maul dressed as Jar Jar Binks and Boba Fett in a Wookie suit.

Me: They’re not dolls! They’re “action figures”!
Dork dressed as Darth Vader #2: They’re dolls. Just admit it. You are such a girl.
Me: Whatever.
Boba Fett in a Wookie suit: Oh yeah? Just wait ‘til my mom getsth here. Sthe’ll sthet you sthraight.
Austin: Don’t even make me. I’ll drop atomic elbows over all of you!
Me: Yeah, what he says.
Darth Maul dressed as Jar Jar: Meesa think you like to play with dolls you do, uhmmm.
Me: Are you Jar Jar or are you Yoda, or what? I can’t even tell. And you guys think I’m a dork.
Wookie in Storm Trooper armor: Rooaarr! Cough, cough. Wheeze! Where’s my inhaler?
Me: Ok, well, you’ve forced my hand. *blink* I summon Joyce Dewitt.
Joyce Dewitt: Hey, I was already here at the Comic-con. You just had to ask me over.
Me: Oh. Sorry. So, are there any other Hot Blondes around?
Joyce: Well you just missed Catherine Bach and Priscilla Barnes.
Me: D’oh! Daisy Duke and Miss Ivana (of Mallrats)? Damn.
Dorks: [in unison] Joyce Dewitt!
Me: Yes, I have the power to summon her, and other Hot Blondes.
Dork dressed as Darth Vader #1: But you didn’t summon her. She just heard her name and wandered over.
Me: [Now ignoring the dorks] So, why aren’t you with Dan helping out with the corpses and such?
Joyce: Well, my agent had already booked me for this Con, so I figured I could use the money.
Me: Do you know there’s still people looking for nude pictures of you?
Joyce: Yes, and they should all be ashamed of themselves. [Looking skyward and waggling her finger in disapproval] Especially you, Carl.
Me: I see. So, do you think you could help me with my dork infestation?
Joyce: Sure, why not. [to the gathered dorks] This is not the nerd you want to bother.
Dorks: [in unison] This is not the nerd we want to bother.
Me: This is not the nerd we want to bother.
Me: [snapping out of trance] Wow, that’s an awesome Jedi mind trick you used there.
Joyce: I know. I used it on Mr. Furley all the time.

Join us next time for more non-exciting and geeky stuff that really doesn't make any sense on The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee!

This is totally true to my heritage.

You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures + detailed answeres]
brought to you by Quizilla


Actually, my family history does include samurai in it. And farmers. But, ya' know, ya got to eat. Mmm...

My brain is melting!

Alias is melting my brain. Lost just defrosted it. This whole Sloane/Sloane Clone thing is warping my fragile mind. And now there's brain stuff. Ah! Ok, that is all for now.

My List of Things To Do before my Party

1. (check) Clean Bathroom
2. Clean rest of house
3. Get food from Sam's Club
4. Buy Liquor
5. Borrow extra chairs in case of rain [crossing fingers]
6. Clean off lawn chairs/table
7. Decide on main dish
8. Do dishes, again

I *heart* Samantha Bee

The Daily Show rocks. They had a segment on 'blogs. It was funny. Rob Corddry sucks. Just kidding. But Samantha Bee is really awesome and Canadian. Ha ha! Ok, this post is lame. Anyway. If you're from the Daily Show, leave a comment. Sweet.

Vindication!

See, my theory is correct. Girls are mean. Poopy-head! (That was a grade-school insult, yo)

Study: Meanness in Girls Can Start at 3

Questions for Chris... 'cause he's so last week.

1. What has been your favorite job?
2. Why are you such a horny bastard?
3. What is the true nature of the universe, and is there a universal truth?
4. How many roads must a man walk down?
5. What do think of the philosphy of "laissez faire"?

The rules are somewhere here, don't forget to add them back in. Beyotch.

Damn you W!

I am: 17% Republican.

"You're a tax-and-spend liberal democrat.  People like you are the reason everyone else votes for guys like Reagan or George W."

Are You A Republican?

I'm afraid I don't really understand what this means

I am Sears "Cow Skull White" semi-gloss interior latex A cheap gummy paint for home interior trim that matches generic off-white walls.

Which house paint are you?

Berkley Sty-lee

By popular demand, (well not really, but it’s Sweeps again)

The Return of The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee

(Now with 70% more stunt-casting)

My power is out when I get home from work. I ask a neighbor what’s going on. I get a vague answer along with a vague promise from a vague DTE customer service representative that the power would possibly be back on by 11:00. This is interrupting my normal Wednesday television viewing. I am upset.

Me: (to no-one in particular) Well, geez, what am I going to do tonight? Lost, Alias and Smallville are all on tonight.
Chloe Sullivan: Well, you could think about the secrets that people sometimes have but they should really share with the people they trust, because those people are trustworthy and can handle keeping that secret even though anyone who knows this person, should have been able to figure what the secret is by the way that person acts.

Chloe takes a big breath. I stare at her and wonder what the hell she’s talking about. I also notice she is blonde and hot.

Me: What secret are you talking about? Wait. Scratch that. What are you doing here?
Chloe: I’m investigating the power outage. I think it may have something to do with meteor rocks.
Me: [Incredulously] Rea-lly? You think that? ‘Cause it could just be that there’s a blown transformer or something. Doesn’t that seem a lot more likely, Ocham’s Razor and all?
Chloe: Ocham you say? I’m going to have to go look him up. I bet he’s in bed with Lex Luthor.
Me: I can’t believe you delivered that line without a trace of irony. Hello?! Clark and Lex are totally gay for each other. Have you not seen them together?
Chloe: [Annoyed pinch-faced look] You’re weird. I’ve got to go see if meteor rocks could possibly be involved in this power outage. It’s in my contract.
Me: Whatever.

Chloe hops in her convertible and drives off. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a blonde walking back up.

Me: Chloe? I thought you left.
VMVO: What a dork. I thought that I'd be able to solve Lilly Kane's murder without talking to him, but he appears to be my only clue left.
Veronica Mars: Hey. Not Chloe. Get a clue. Ha! Get it! Anyway, I know your power is out, but I wanted to ask you a few questions about the night Lilly Kane was murdered.
Me:Um... (quietly to myself) finally, hot blondes, (slight wavering in voice) uh, I don't know, what do you want to know?
Veronica Mars: Were you with Lilly Kane when she was pulled over for speeding?
Me: Uh, I only talked to her when she was in a flashback. She didn't even make out with me.
VMVO: Whoa. TMI.
Veronica Mars: Ok. Well I hope you didn't mind me asking you. Here, do want this Slurpee?
VMVO: Hehe. I'm giving him a trip to the dentist.
Me:Gee, thanks.

Come back next time, when nothing that exciting happens, and nobody cares.

I am a dork.

I am a Sci-Fi geek, because I recognize/have read all the other writers from your quizes. I love Heinlein. Although I think my favorite is Larry Niven. And Douglas Adams was just fucking cool and funny.

I am: William Gibson The chief instigator of the "cyberpunk" wave of the 1980s, his razzle-dazzle futuristic intrigues were, for a while, the most imitated work in science fiction.

Which science fiction writer are you?

More fun with blasphemy

Here's a follow-up to the article I posted about earlier supposing what would be on Jesus's iPod. Some very good suggestions there, some very tongue in cheek, along with a few hate-mails. C'mon people, if there's anything I know about Jesus, and I know very little, it's that Jesus was not about hate, he was all about love. So, love everybody.


What's on Jesus's iPod part II
By Mark Morford