Spork!

Wow! Alias was awesome last night. Marshall rules! I was wondering when they were going to have another Marshall episode. It was also good to see Amanda Foreman (Marshall's wife). I always liked her on Felicity. Again, Spork!

I was reading on TVGal at Zap2It.com about how she doesn't have the love affair with Alias that she used to, that it's now more like they were lovers that became good friends. Well, let me tell you, last night's episode renewed the torrid love affair, if you can have such a thing with a non-physical object.

Lost also was really good. They still haven't really explained how Locke lost the use of his legs, but it does give a lot of tantalizing hints. There was also a few WTF moments, and of course Hurley gets in a bit of a dig at Sawyer. Hee-larious.

That is all the TV talking for now.

I will now summon my gang of hot women. I hope this goes better for me than for Dan. Damn Ryan and his summoning skillz. Aight!

*Poof*

Me: Hey! Where are the hot women?
Dustin Hoffman as Tootsie: Over here!
Me: Wha!? Who's that with you?
Tom Hanks and that other guy who was on Newhart but both when they were in "Bosom Buddies": Oh, it's us. All the really great American drag characters.
Cast of To Wong Foo: Yeah, we're awesomely gender-bending.
Me: Uh, this isn't what I imagined. I sure hope not.
Bugs Bunny in a dress: Say, what's up Doc?
Me: This is not babe-alicious.
Me: *bangs head against wall to knock myself out*

Later

Me: Lilly Kane? Laura Palmer?
LK & LP: Yes?
Me: Aren't you both dead?
LK: Yes, but I keep appearing in flashbacks. That's what this is.
Me: Dammit. Wait, but that means somehow, in the past, there were hot babes?
LP: Well, maybe, but maybe you actually killed us.
Me: I don't think I would kill hot babes.
LK: Well, we sure didn't kill ourselves. I mean, look at me, I'm young and hot.
LP: Besides, you are probably hallucinating this whole thing.
Me: Crap. I forgot.

Much later

Me: *Opens one eye slowly to scan room for either hot chicks or men in drag.*
Me: Whew. I'm alone. Well, that's not that much better.

The door opens. In walks Tina Fey and Lisa Loeb.

Me: *pointing at Tina Fey* Hey, you're Lisa Loeb!
Me: *pointing at Lisa Loeb* And you're Tina Fey!
LL: Oops. We must of somehow switched glasses in the dressing room. Here's yours.

Lisa and Tina swap glasses.

Me: Oh. Sorry, I totally was confused there for a minute.
TF: Eh, don't worry. It happens all the time. So, how about hot sex?
Me: Awesome.
LL: She meant just her and me. You can't join because you're not a hot brunette with cool glasses.
Me: Can I at least watch?
TF: I suppose. But at least put on this wig and these glasses.

Tina hands me a wig that looks like it's halfway between their haircuts and a pair of black horn rim glasses.

LL: That's better. Now let's get to it.
Me: But this isn't even my prescription! I can't see anything.
TF: Shut it! That's what we wanted.
Me: *squinting at Tina and Lisa* Awesome....