Wednesday, May 25, 2005

OK, I totally stole this link from AMG, but I thought, you, my readership would appreciate it.

The Future of Television by Conan O'Brien

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

There's nothing on.

This is truly sad. As Sweeps is drawing to a close, I am running out of things to watch. On live TV that is. I still have 6 episodes each of Stargate SG1 and Stargate Atlantis, 7 episodes of Battlestar Galactica, 4 episodes of MI-5 (or Snoops for the BBC watchers), 4 episodes of Joan of Arcadia, 7 or 8 episodes of Futurama I've never seen, The Ladykillers (the original, funny version), and just a ton of other stuff, which consumes all but 20 Gb of the 300 I have. I love my TiFaux (Think TiVo). I have some serious catching up to do. If you don't hear from me for several days, you'll know where I am.

Crap. I forgot. Tomorrow is the finale of Alias and Lost. Hmm. But after that. It's over. It's all over now, baby blue.

Oh, and I still have no clue what is going on this weekend, if anything.

-The Dork

Monday, May 23, 2005

This is very funny.

Ok. I know some of you might have gotten a little too much Star Wars-themed links lately, but this is very funny.

Austin, I hope that your friend Jerry isn't somewhere in here...

Parade of Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Fudge, Packer?

Have a Shpadoinkle day!

Saw "Cannibal: The Musical" last night at Tess's. It was quite funny. Low key was good after the shenanigans of Thursday night. Let me just say that, those Jaeger Bombs were killer. DannyC also was not aware that it was his idea to go to White Castle after the bar. White Castle did not agree with me, we'll leave it at that. Hype. We're soon off to terrorize Ann Arbor. Word.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I've always had a tendency toward the pragmatic

from Tess's...

:: how jedi are you? ::

Two words. "Princess Leia slave bikini." uhh... that was four, but whatever.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Why do I still watch this show?

I have just one small thing to say about Smallville. It makes The Brotherhood II look straight.

-The Dork

Monday, May 16, 2005


originally uploaded by M Kawamoto.
See, Joyce Dewitt was at the Comic-con. She's still not blonde though.

Berkley Sty-lee

Back again to

The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee

I am cleaning up after my barbeque.

Me: Man, what happened last night? This place is a mess. Well, I better start cleaning up.
Chloe: Hey, so, you don’t remember what happened last night?
Me: Not really, I was kind of drunk last night, I mean, I have a vague idea of what happened, but I don’t remember exactly what happened.
Chloe: Could your memory have been erased by someone who had been affected by meteor rocks?
Me: No, I was just drunk last night. It has nothing to do with meteor rocks.
Chloe: Are you sure? There’s no secret that you should share with someone you trust?
Me: No, there’s no secret.
Chloe: Maybe you drank something with meteor rocks in it that would have affected your brain.
Me: No! For the last time, meteor rocks had nothing to do with it!

I step inside and close the door behind me. Chloe looks around perplexed.

Chloe: Wow. He’s fast. He must have some super-speed ability.
Me: [muffled by door] I’m inside. I came inside!
Chloe: I better go back to the Torch and see if Wall of Weird has anything about a Freak-of-the-week with meteor rock enhanced powers over memory.
Me: [muffled by door] Argghhhh! Why is the only Hot Blonde that shows up so annoying?

Hours later.
(Well, actually 2 days later, but it can be expressed as hours, so it’s like 30-some hours, but you know, hours.)

Austin and I go to the Comic-con (a.k.a. The Motor City Comic Convention). We wander around, and I buy several action figures. Then we are accosted by several dorks in costume, 2 Darth Vaders, a Wookie in a Storm Trooper uniform, Darth Maul dressed as Jar Jar Binks and Boba Fett in a Wookie suit.

Me: They’re not dolls! They’re “action figures”!
Dork dressed as Darth Vader #2: They’re dolls. Just admit it. You are such a girl.
Me: Whatever.
Boba Fett in a Wookie suit: Oh yeah? Just wait ‘til my mom getsth here. Sthe’ll sthet you sthraight.
Austin: Don’t even make me. I’ll drop atomic elbows over all of you!
Me: Yeah, what he says.
Darth Maul dressed as Jar Jar: Meesa think you like to play with dolls you do, uhmmm.
Me: Are you Jar Jar or are you Yoda, or what? I can’t even tell. And you guys think I’m a dork.
Wookie in Storm Trooper armor: Rooaarr! Cough, cough. Wheeze! Where’s my inhaler?
Me: Ok, well, you’ve forced my hand. *blink* I summon Joyce Dewitt.
Joyce Dewitt: Hey, I was already here at the Comic-con. You just had to ask me over.
Me: Oh. Sorry. So, are there any other Hot Blondes around?
Joyce: Well you just missed Catherine Bach and Priscilla Barnes.
Me: D’oh! Daisy Duke and Miss Ivana (of Mallrats)? Damn.
Dorks: [in unison] Joyce Dewitt!
Me: Yes, I have the power to summon her, and other Hot Blondes.
Dork dressed as Darth Vader #1: But you didn’t summon her. She just heard her name and wandered over.
Me: [Now ignoring the dorks] So, why aren’t you with Dan helping out with the corpses and such?
Joyce: Well, my agent had already booked me for this Con, so I figured I could use the money.
Me: Do you know there’s still people looking for nude pictures of you?
Joyce: Yes, and they should all be ashamed of themselves. [Looking skyward and waggling her finger in disapproval] Especially you, Carl.
Me: I see. So, do you think you could help me with my dork infestation?
Joyce: Sure, why not. [to the gathered dorks] This is not the nerd you want to bother.
Dorks: [in unison] This is not the nerd we want to bother.
Me: This is not the nerd we want to bother.
Me: [snapping out of trance] Wow, that’s an awesome Jedi mind trick you used there.
Joyce: I know. I used it on Mr. Furley all the time.

Join us next time for more non-exciting and geeky stuff that really doesn't make any sense on The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee!

Friday, May 13, 2005

This is totally true to my heritage.


You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures + detailed answeres]
brought to you by Quizilla

Actually, my family history does include samurai in it. And farmers. But, ya' know, ya got to eat. Mmm...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

My brain is melting!

Alias is melting my brain. Lost just defrosted it. This whole Sloane/Sloane Clone thing is warping my fragile mind. And now there's brain stuff. Ah! Ok, that is all for now.

My List of Things To Do before my Party

1. (check) Clean Bathroom
2. Clean rest of house
3. Get food from Sam's Club
4. Buy Liquor
5. Borrow extra chairs in case of rain [crossing fingers]
6. Clean off lawn chairs/table
7. Decide on main dish
8. Do dishes, again

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

I *heart* Samantha Bee

The Daily Show rocks. They had a segment on 'blogs. It was funny. Rob Corddry sucks. Just kidding. But Samantha Bee is really awesome and Canadian. Ha ha! Ok, this post is lame. Anyway. If you're from the Daily Show, leave a comment. Sweet.


See, my theory is correct. Girls are mean. Poopy-head! (That was a grade-school insult, yo)

Study: Meanness in Girls Can Start at 3

Monday, May 09, 2005

Questions for Chris... 'cause he's so last week.

1. What has been your favorite job?
2. Why are you such a horny bastard?
3. What is the true nature of the universe, and is there a universal truth?
4. How many roads must a man walk down?
5. What do think of the philosphy of "laissez faire"?

The rules are somewhere here, don't forget to add them back in. Beyotch.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Damn you W!

I am:
"You're a tax-and-spend liberal democrat.  People like you are the reason everyone else votes for guys like Reagan or George W."

Are You A Republican?

I'm afraid I don't really understand what this means

I am
Sears "Cow Skull White" semi-gloss interior latex

A cheap gummy paint for home interior trim that matches generic off-white walls.

Which house paint are you?

Berkley Sty-lee

By popular demand, (well not really, but it’s Sweeps again)

The Return of The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee

(Now with 70% more stunt-casting)

My power is out when I get home from work. I ask a neighbor what’s going on. I get a vague answer along with a vague promise from a vague DTE customer service representative that the power would possibly be back on by 11:00. This is interrupting my normal Wednesday television viewing. I am upset.

Me: (to no-one in particular) Well, geez, what am I going to do tonight? Lost, Alias and Smallville are all on tonight.
Chloe Sullivan: Well, you could think about the secrets that people sometimes have but they should really share with the people they trust, because those people are trustworthy and can handle keeping that secret even though anyone who knows this person, should have been able to figure what the secret is by the way that person acts.

Chloe takes a big breath. I stare at her and wonder what the hell she’s talking about. I also notice she is blonde and hot.

Me: What secret are you talking about? Wait. Scratch that. What are you doing here?
Chloe: I’m investigating the power outage. I think it may have something to do with meteor rocks.
Me: [Incredulously] Rea-lly? You think that? ‘Cause it could just be that there’s a blown transformer or something. Doesn’t that seem a lot more likely, Ocham’s Razor and all?
Chloe: Ocham you say? I’m going to have to go look him up. I bet he’s in bed with Lex Luthor.
Me: I can’t believe you delivered that line without a trace of irony. Hello?! Clark and Lex are totally gay for each other. Have you not seen them together?
Chloe: [Annoyed pinch-faced look] You’re weird. I’ve got to go see if meteor rocks could possibly be involved in this power outage. It’s in my contract.
Me: Whatever.

Chloe hops in her convertible and drives off. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a blonde walking back up.

Me: Chloe? I thought you left.
VMVO: What a dork. I thought that I'd be able to solve Lilly Kane's murder without talking to him, but he appears to be my only clue left.
Veronica Mars: Hey. Not Chloe. Get a clue. Ha! Get it! Anyway, I know your power is out, but I wanted to ask you a few questions about the night Lilly Kane was murdered.
Me:Um... (quietly to myself) finally, hot blondes, (slight wavering in voice) uh, I don't know, what do you want to know?
Veronica Mars: Were you with Lilly Kane when she was pulled over for speeding?
Me: Uh, I only talked to her when she was in a flashback. She didn't even make out with me.
VMVO: Whoa. TMI.
Veronica Mars: Ok. Well I hope you didn't mind me asking you. Here, do want this Slurpee?
VMVO: Hehe. I'm giving him a trip to the dentist.
Me:Gee, thanks.

Come back next time, when nothing that exciting happens, and nobody cares.

I am a dork.

I am a Sci-Fi geek, because I recognize/have read all the other writers from your quizes. I love Heinlein. Although I think my favorite is Larry Niven. And Douglas Adams was just fucking cool and funny.

I am:
William Gibson
The chief instigator of the "cyberpunk" wave of the 1980s, his razzle-dazzle futuristic intrigues were, for a while, the most imitated work in science fiction.

Which science fiction writer are you?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

More fun with blasphemy

Here's a follow-up to the article I posted about earlier supposing what would be on Jesus's iPod. Some very good suggestions there, some very tongue in cheek, along with a few hate-mails. C'mon people, if there's anything I know about Jesus, and I know very little, it's that Jesus was not about hate, he was all about love. So, love everybody.

What's on Jesus's iPod part II
By Mark Morford

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Meme: 5th of Gin, 5th of Tequila

Interview questions courtesy of Jessica

1. What song do you like to play when it’s time to get busy?

I don't really have a "gettin' busy" soundtrack, but Enigma is good background, as is elbow, or Travis, or various other emo-y bands. I guess that would be it, but as for one particular song, I don't have one. But it would only have to be 3 minutes long.

2. Do you like owning a home?

Yes, I like it. It's nice to be putting my money into an investment. It's nice to have a place of my own, where I can keep all my stuff. The maintenance isn't that bad either and if I want to make a change to something, I can.

3. If your life could be like any TV show, which show would you choose?

One of those fat-guy/hot-wife sitcoms, like "King of Queens." Or "Alias."

4. Sarah Michelle Gellar jumps into your car and tells you that the cops are after her and she desperately needs your help. What do you do?

What? You mean after I slap myself out of my stupor and pick my jaw up off the floor? I would do whatever she needed to get away from the cops, lend her money, make out with her so they don't see her face when doing a crowd search, drive a getaway car, stake vampire cops, anything, as long as I got to go along with her. Especially if she's on the run because she's been accused of killing her husband. "It was the one-armed fan!"

5. Do you want to have children?

Yes, I would like to carry on the Kawamoto name. I'm the only boy Kawamoto among the grandchildren, so I need to have a son. Am I ready to be a dad right now? No, but maybe in a couple years.

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your LJ/Blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Questions: Mark Two

Oops. I missed Michelle's request for an interview on my original meme, so here's questions for her.

1. When did you start riding horses and why did you get into showing them?
2. Which celebrity would you love to punch out?
3. How is it having The Guve-nator running the show in Cali?
4. Do you think your military training gives you any advantages in dealing with children, ala "Major Dad" or "Major Payne"?
5. Do you ever want to visit New Zealand, home of the Kiwi?

Ok. Hope I didn't miss any body else.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Medium is psychi-tastic

Crazy. On Medium tonight they mentioned that the mother-in-law played by Kathy Baker (of Picket Fences) was from Grosse Pointe. Somehow all roads lead to Grosse Pointe.

-The Dork

Meme: 4th and goal

Questions courtesy of Beckie

1. Are you and Jessica really going to get married at 30 if neither of you have yet?

Well, technically, I believe the deal was at age 31, on March 17th, 2007. That being said, because of Jessica's stated beliefs that marriage is "'til Death do us part" there would have to be emotional and psychological bonds to sustain the relationship beyond the physical connection and financial advantages. That's not to say that she's a choice of last resort, far from it, but I think there would be issues that would have to be worked out. Just like any other relationship. I've never been one who's casually dated, so I'd be looking for a relationship, and maybe by then I'll be ready for marriage. So, if it comes down to it, and we both feel it's the the right thing to do, sure.

2. When are you going to get a puppy?

I so want to get one, but I know that with as much time and attention as they need when little, I don't know that with my current work schedule, that I'd be able to get a puppy. Eventually. That's when. They're so cute!

3. If you let your hair grow for 1 year, how many zipcodes would it encompass?

I think the only time it had gotten that long, was when I was able to pull it back into a Belushi-style Samurai ponytail, and when dry, and tousled, my hair took up an approximate volume approaching that of a beach ball. So, only one zipcode, but that would be a pretty big zip. I think the problem is my hair just has not enough curl for white-boy 'fro and too much for the Fabio-locks.

4. Does it ever feel surreal to be a homeowner and car owner and job haver and all around responsible adult?

Well, yes. I sometimes sit back and wonder how I got to be an adult. Especially considering that most of my friends are still in a sort of college-mode still, it can be weird. I worry about mortgage interest rates, and what my credit score is and what home improvement will give me the best return on my money and yet, I think I am still very immature in other ways. It just snuck up on me, where it was better to buy a house than rent and to have a stable job, and just everything else that goes along with it.

5. If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?

I would like to lose weight. I think that's the biggest thing, and probably the thing I have the most control over. Otherwise I'm pretty satisfied with my appearance. The only other thing is my psoriasis. It's annoying. But, really, if it were one thing, my weight.

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Meme : 33 1/3

Questions from Ryan

1. What is one thing that you MUST do in the next five years?

Get a girlfriend.

2. You seem like a pretty laid back guy but what makes you REALLY mad?

Idiots. People who will not and can not understand reason or logic. Bad drivers.

3. If you could have anyone play the role of you in the story of your life, who would it be? (Anyone, doesn't have to look like you)

I think John Cusack would be a good choice. Funny, understated, likable.

4. Who do you think is the best ficional villian of all time?

He who's name shall not be spoken, Voldemort.

5. As a master of everything pop culture, what do you think are the best & worst shows on TV right now.

Best: Veronica Mars. It's been the most consistently good show for the whole season.

Worst (show I'm still watching): Smallville. The characters never act the same from week to week, and I hate Lois.

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Meme: Part Deux!

More stuff about me. Answers to questions from Chris and Michelle

Questions courtest of misanthropicsob or Coronado if y'all didn't know.

1. L to the O to the V to the E, have you ever been in the big L?

Yes. I know because of how much it hurt when it ended.

2. What type of person are you looking for in a relationship?

Someone who's literate, intellligent, funny. Someone who understands my quirks, understands that I have my moods. Someone who can deal with my obsessions with TV, toys and anything else that I tend to obsess over. Preferably someone without a history of mental illness. I somehow know that I can't avoid drama in a relationship, but I wish there could be a minimum of it. I also like boobs.

3. If you could have any job in the world, what would you have and why?

Hmm. I would like a job with a minimum of paperwork. I always really liked working at the bike shop. But I also like the creative part of my current job. So, something design-related. I'd also like to be a musician, with an actual band.

4. Are you ever inclined to get a Masters degree in...something?

This is something I've thought about. I didn't really enjoy the school part of college. I think I would really need a good reason or something I was really interested in to go back to school. I am taking a class for CATIA V.5 this summer, but that's for work.

5. What is your experience with chemicals of the illicit sort?

Illicit chemicals... I think the only one I've ever tried was pot. I thought it was ok, mostly it made me silly. I'll smoke it, but I have to be in the right mood. I think the weirdest experience with pot was when Dan and I were hanging out with one of his friends (whose name escapes me at this time) and we were smoking a little and then Dan's car got broken into. We had to wait around for the police and then the tow truck. And then it was 8 in the morning and we got high, and then I had to go to work at the bike shop, and I was high until noon.

Questions from Michelle

1. Have you ever seen a Ghost or thought that you have seen one?

I don't think I've ever seen a ghost, but I thought I had felt the presence of someone still hanging around.

2. What do you think happens to your spirit/ soul / inner being/ ego, what ever you want to call it,does/ goes when you expire? Do you go some where, stay around and help your loved ones when needed... be creative, tell the truth not what you think people would want to hear.

I don't know, I don't really believe in heaven and hell. I still have some thought that there is an afterlife. I guess this ties back into the ghost thing. So, maybe, people's spirits do hang around to help the people left behind to cope.

3. If there is ONE song that would describe you, what song would this be and why?

I've always been a fan of "Norwegian Wood" by The Beatles, just a simple song of a guy who goes back to a girl's place and ends up sleeping in the bathtub.

4. By some weird chance, you have been selected by a council of alien beings to protect and conceal a member of their council. This guy is brash, has poor taste in music, wine and women. He looks human, and you have to intoduce him into your circle of friends, BUT you can not tell your friends what exactly is going on, what do you do and how would you handle this?

I'd tell them he an exchange student was from Sweden and was not good with our customs. He'd be like Fez from "That 70's Show."

5. Do you ever hear those commercials that say " HELLLLLOOO Moto.." and think they are talking to you?

Nope, not at all, although I have had people say that to me. Moto was not a nickname that I ever was called before, so I never really made the connection.

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions