Berkley Sty-lee

By popular demand, (well not really, but it’s Sweeps again)

The Return of The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee

(Now with 70% more stunt-casting)

My power is out when I get home from work. I ask a neighbor what’s going on. I get a vague answer along with a vague promise from a vague DTE customer service representative that the power would possibly be back on by 11:00. This is interrupting my normal Wednesday television viewing. I am upset.

Me: (to no-one in particular) Well, geez, what am I going to do tonight? Lost, Alias and Smallville are all on tonight.
Chloe Sullivan: Well, you could think about the secrets that people sometimes have but they should really share with the people they trust, because those people are trustworthy and can handle keeping that secret even though anyone who knows this person, should have been able to figure what the secret is by the way that person acts.

Chloe takes a big breath. I stare at her and wonder what the hell she’s talking about. I also notice she is blonde and hot.

Me: What secret are you talking about? Wait. Scratch that. What are you doing here?
Chloe: I’m investigating the power outage. I think it may have something to do with meteor rocks.
Me: [Incredulously] Rea-lly? You think that? ‘Cause it could just be that there’s a blown transformer or something. Doesn’t that seem a lot more likely, Ocham’s Razor and all?
Chloe: Ocham you say? I’m going to have to go look him up. I bet he’s in bed with Lex Luthor.
Me: I can’t believe you delivered that line without a trace of irony. Hello?! Clark and Lex are totally gay for each other. Have you not seen them together?
Chloe: [Annoyed pinch-faced look] You’re weird. I’ve got to go see if meteor rocks could possibly be involved in this power outage. It’s in my contract.
Me: Whatever.

Chloe hops in her convertible and drives off. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a blonde walking back up.

Me: Chloe? I thought you left.
VMVO: What a dork. I thought that I'd be able to solve Lilly Kane's murder without talking to him, but he appears to be my only clue left.
Veronica Mars: Hey. Not Chloe. Get a clue. Ha! Get it! Anyway, I know your power is out, but I wanted to ask you a few questions about the night Lilly Kane was murdered.
Me:Um... (quietly to myself) finally, hot blondes, (slight wavering in voice) uh, I don't know, what do you want to know?
Veronica Mars: Were you with Lilly Kane when she was pulled over for speeding?
Me: Uh, I only talked to her when she was in a flashback. She didn't even make out with me.
VMVO: Whoa. TMI.
Veronica Mars: Ok. Well I hope you didn't mind me asking you. Here, do want this Slurpee?
VMVO: Hehe. I'm giving him a trip to the dentist.
Me:Gee, thanks.

Come back next time, when nothing that exciting happens, and nobody cares.