Berkley Sty-lee

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The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee

I am cleaning up after my barbeque.

Me: Man, what happened last night? This place is a mess. Well, I better start cleaning up.
Chloe: Hey, so, you don’t remember what happened last night?
Me: Not really, I was kind of drunk last night, I mean, I have a vague idea of what happened, but I don’t remember exactly what happened.
Chloe: Could your memory have been erased by someone who had been affected by meteor rocks?
Me: No, I was just drunk last night. It has nothing to do with meteor rocks.
Chloe: Are you sure? There’s no secret that you should share with someone you trust?
Me: No, there’s no secret.
Chloe: Maybe you drank something with meteor rocks in it that would have affected your brain.
Me: No! For the last time, meteor rocks had nothing to do with it!

I step inside and close the door behind me. Chloe looks around perplexed.

Chloe: Wow. He’s fast. He must have some super-speed ability.
Me: [muffled by door] I’m inside. I came inside!
Chloe: I better go back to the Torch and see if Wall of Weird has anything about a Freak-of-the-week with meteor rock enhanced powers over memory.
Me: [muffled by door] Argghhhh! Why is the only Hot Blonde that shows up so annoying?

Hours later.
(Well, actually 2 days later, but it can be expressed as hours, so it’s like 30-some hours, but you know, hours.)

Austin and I go to the Comic-con (a.k.a. The Motor City Comic Convention). We wander around, and I buy several action figures. Then we are accosted by several dorks in costume, 2 Darth Vaders, a Wookie in a Storm Trooper uniform, Darth Maul dressed as Jar Jar Binks and Boba Fett in a Wookie suit.

Me: They’re not dolls! They’re “action figures”!
Dork dressed as Darth Vader #2: They’re dolls. Just admit it. You are such a girl.
Me: Whatever.
Boba Fett in a Wookie suit: Oh yeah? Just wait ‘til my mom getsth here. Sthe’ll sthet you sthraight.
Austin: Don’t even make me. I’ll drop atomic elbows over all of you!
Me: Yeah, what he says.
Darth Maul dressed as Jar Jar: Meesa think you like to play with dolls you do, uhmmm.
Me: Are you Jar Jar or are you Yoda, or what? I can’t even tell. And you guys think I’m a dork.
Wookie in Storm Trooper armor: Rooaarr! Cough, cough. Wheeze! Where’s my inhaler?
Me: Ok, well, you’ve forced my hand. *blink* I summon Joyce Dewitt.
Joyce Dewitt: Hey, I was already here at the Comic-con. You just had to ask me over.
Me: Oh. Sorry. So, are there any other Hot Blondes around?
Joyce: Well you just missed Catherine Bach and Priscilla Barnes.
Me: D’oh! Daisy Duke and Miss Ivana (of Mallrats)? Damn.
Dorks: [in unison] Joyce Dewitt!
Me: Yes, I have the power to summon her, and other Hot Blondes.
Dork dressed as Darth Vader #1: But you didn’t summon her. She just heard her name and wandered over.
Me: [Now ignoring the dorks] So, why aren’t you with Dan helping out with the corpses and such?
Joyce: Well, my agent had already booked me for this Con, so I figured I could use the money.
Me: Do you know there’s still people looking for nude pictures of you?
Joyce: Yes, and they should all be ashamed of themselves. [Looking skyward and waggling her finger in disapproval] Especially you, Carl.
Me: I see. So, do you think you could help me with my dork infestation?
Joyce: Sure, why not. [to the gathered dorks] This is not the nerd you want to bother.
Dorks: [in unison] This is not the nerd we want to bother.
Me: This is not the nerd we want to bother.
Me: [snapping out of trance] Wow, that’s an awesome Jedi mind trick you used there.
Joyce: I know. I used it on Mr. Furley all the time.

Join us next time for more non-exciting and geeky stuff that really doesn't make any sense on The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee!