Berkley-sty-lee

And now the return of The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley-sty-lee.

Many days later.

Tina Fey: Lisa, I think since Sweeps is over we no longer need to be lesbians.
Lisa Loeb: I agree. Our lesbianism was purely a ratings ploy. Let’s get back to our husbands.
TF: Wait, let’s swap glasses and husbands.
LL: They’ll never know the difference.
TF: Awesome.
Me: Does this mean I can take off the wig?
TF: Yeah, I guess so. Let’s get out of here.

Tina Fey and Lisa Loeb exit after switching glasses.
I stand there, confused and lonely, and yet still strangely turned on. I finally get to lie in my own bed and fall asleep.

*Ding dong*

Me: Who’s knocking on the door at 2 in the morning?

I go to the front door, and upon opening it see Rachel Bilson and what looks like the corpse of Mischa Barton standing there.

Me: Summer! Marissa! From the hit Fox show, The O.C.!

I lean over to Rachel and whisper in her ear.
Me: Is Mischa dead? There’ve been a few re-animated corpses wandering around recently.
RB: [surprised] Oh, Coop? She’s not dead, she just doesn’t eat anything.
MB: Mmmmrrrphhh. *whine*
RB: Don’t worry, Coop. He won’t try to feed you.
Me: Is that really healthy?
RB: She’s fine. The corpse look is in this year. Right?
MB: Errrgghuuuhhhh. *pout*
Me: What- [long pause for effect] -ever. So, what are you doing here anyway?
RB: Mischa heard there was hot Sweeps lesbian action going on over here.
MB: [excitedly] Agggrrrrmmmhhhh!
Me: Oh, Tina and Lisa left a couple hours ago. Didn’t you know Sweeps was over?
MB: [dejectedly] Urggghhhhmmm. *pout*
Me: So, Rachel, I hear you’re into guys that like comic books? Do you want to see my collection? I have an issue of “The Dazzler” and a couple of graphic novels.
RB: Meh.
Me: Oh, OK. So, do either of you have a strange addiction to deep frying things?
RB: No. You, Coop?
MB: *shaking head almost imperceptibly* Mmmgghhuuuhh.
Me: Alrighty then. Do you want to come in for a bit?
RB: Nah, I think we’re gonna take off. We don’t have to do anything interesting until Sweeps again in May. So, basically, I think Mischa is going to take lots of painkillers and drink a couple of fifths of tequila, and I’m going to beat up on Adam Brody. Maybe I’ll try the lesbian thing in May. It’s the in thing to do. Maybe we can get Paris Hilton to guest star. She’s a huge slut.
Me: That’d be cool.
MB: Guuurgggghhhmmm! *whine*
RB: Alright, Coop. Let’s go.
Me: Bye!