On the radio this morning they were talking about "backup husbands/wives", i.e. the person whom you may have arranged to get married to at a specific point if neither of you is in a relationship. This made me ponder my own rapidly approaching backup date. I find it rather unsettling. For one, there's a certain lack of clarity as to the seriousness of the arrangement. I'm also very comfortable in my current living situation. (Maybe a little too comfortable). There's also the fact that this arrangement was made in a rather drunken state almost 5 years ago, with the certainty that we would most likely find other suitable life-mates.
30 is sneaking up on me pretty quickly, and although I didn't expect to be married by now, I thought that I'd at least have some sort of reasonable prospect lined up. Sadly, as is my way, I have not really attempted to find a partner, whether through laziness, apathy, fear of rejection, shyness, or even lack of confidence. Maybe what's holding me back is the backup plan.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like Jessica a lot. I care for her deeply and I would never give that up, but the more I depend on the backup plan, the more likely I am to be hurt or disappointed if or when I am not needed as the backup.
I suppose making this realization is just one small part of rectifying the situation, but that doesn't really matter if none of the rest of it gets followed through with. I hope that I am able to make some progress. Maybe this is all generic psychobabble, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I don't really know what I'm talking, but I know me, and this has been weighing on my mind for a while.
Well, that was kind of heavy for a Tuesday. I promise more rainbows and ice cream next time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Oh my gosh! I was listening to that same broadcast!
I think 30 is a little premature to need a backup, anyway. I guess it's better to have a realization now, than 30 years from now.
And don't forget the kittens. You can't have ice cream without kittens.
stlyibd
oh shit! i never got a backup lined up!!! what am I gonna do?! if I'm to get married to a backup in less than three years, i need to find out who it's going to be so proper provisions can be taken care of-- like getting a haircut not done by myself and flossing on a regular basis. and who's going to book the band and what will the wedding colors be? You get to be best man, Mike, but surely I do not know who should get to be groomsmen or ushers... well, my cousins will be groomsmen... and the guest list!!!!!! i have a rather large family and maybe it would be a bad idea if my backup also had a large family. too much to consider! i must begin planning now... what kind of dress would look good on me?
There are cases when primary plans don't work out too, remember.
I'm living proof of that.
Marry someone because you love them - not because you've panicked about being alone.
What Tess said.
Beckie
Yes, I know the whole love thing. Wookin' pa' 'nub... in all da' wong paces... wookin' pa' 'nub.
Austin... I think ivory or cream colors would be a better complement to your complexion. Plus "virginal" white just is not really appropriate anymore, you sinner.
Kittens... they do go well with ice cream, maybe some whipped cream and chocolate sauce on top also.
juudmm
Post a Comment