I am broken... not.

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||| 34% Schizoid |||||| 30% Schizotypal |||||||||||| 42% Antisocial |||||| 22% Borderline |||| 18% Histrionic |||||| 26% Narcissistic |||||||||| 38% Avoidant |||||| 26% Dependent |||||||||| 34% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 42%

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TV Series Premieres Part umm... I don't know.

So, I watched the first episode of Surface. My review is below. But I'd like to talk about a few other things first. Like Lost. Last nights episode was pretty cool. But man, I need my fix. I don't know if I'll be able to handle 3 weeks without Lost. That'll be rough. And Veronica Mars was excellent again, even if it was a fairly calm episode, it certainly laid the groundwork for a lot of things to go down. And thanks to VM's mom whose drinking finally paid off in helping out Veronica on her case. I thinks that's all I have for now.

-The Geek


NBC

Surface
(Monday at 8:00)

This is show is many things. Which things I’m not sure. It’s supposed to be a family oriented alien invasion show. The pilot leads off with middle/high school age kids drinking and wakeboarding at night in Dawson’s Creek… I mean Wilmington, N.C. Actually it doesn’t really matter where they are, just that one kid, sees something in the water he can’t explain. Then there’s a submarine in the Antarctic that is missing it’s crew, and a random Russian Scientist is there to inspect the mysteriously empty vessel for the U.S. Navy. The location then changes again to SoCal where Marine Biologist lady (Lake Bell… yes, that’s her name) is going to be taking a submersible deep to study life around geothermal vents in the ocean floor. She ends up being jostled by a big sea creature rising out of a very deep hole, and no one believes she saw something down there. In the fourth of the increasing implausible and confusing plot threads, a Louisiana scuba diver and his brother are out spear-fishing near an oil platform when his brother shoots another of these sea creatures and is dragged bottomward to his death. Eventually we get back to the Dawson’s River kids, who sneak out late at night and find in the water, what we assume to be either eggs or immature versions of the sea creatures. The one kid ends up putting it his parents aquarium where it eats all the fish and breaks out and hides. I guess this kid is going to befriend it. Anyway, we wind up the show with evidence that these sea creatures are huge and are recent additions to the planet. All in all, it’s entertaining but forgettable, and suffers from technical and societal inconsistencies. One of the most grating things to me was when MB lady was in the submersible, she refers to the seeing something on “RADAR” which is incorrect, underwater you use “SONAR”. That and the multiple, confusing plot threads make the show less enjoyable. I’ll probably watch what episodes I have recorded already, but I may delete them if I need the room.

C+

Season Premieres part 424334.... whatever

So, anyway, I ended up picking up another show to watch. Well, 2. Maybe more, I don't know. I've recorded several episodes of Surface, but have not had the chance to watch any of them. I decided to check it out based on the recommendation of a co-worker. Also, I've been watching Everybody Hates Chris because I have a free slot while The O.C. is off for baseball. I also have ended up watching Related on the WB because I am a 'ho for anything WB. In the midst of this, I also checked out Love, Inc. on UPN after Everybody Hates Chris, because Busy Phillips is on it, I shouldn't have bothered. To paraphrase the J. Geils Band, Love, Inc. Stinks!

UPN

Everybody Hates Chris
(Thurdsay at 8:00)

Everybody Hates Chris is the chronicle of Chris Rock's middle school days. Chris has been transferred to an all-White school, and is socially awkward besides the whole race issue. There's trouble with the school bully, mis-perceptions about his athletic abilities and lots of other things that keep him down. It's a really well done show, very funny, and the actor that plays Chris is excellent. Highly recommended.

A

WB

Related
(Wednesday at 9:00)

4 sisters living in New York. A lawyer, a therapist, an event planner and a student. A father about to remarry. One of them is pregnant, one is getting kicked out of her sublet, one has just broken up, and one has changed majors from pre-med to experimental theater. These are sisters with issues. It's ok, nothing ground breaking or original, family drama at it's normalest. Related is a step up from the schmaltyness of Seventh Heaven plus the actors and actresses can actually emote with some modicum of skill. I may get bored after a while, but it's a worthy diversion if you have nothing else to watch.

C+


P.S. In case you didn't know already, Just Legal and Head Cases were canceled. Ouch.

One More Thing...

Well, I'm checking in regularly on the Steve Jobs live event where apparently there've been a couple of product announcements. New iPods, 20Gb and 60Gb with video out capability. Also iMacs w/built in iSights. Cool. And also an Apple branded remote with neat software. I think there's some more stuff to come, also there's a new version of iTunes Music store where you download videos and even TV shows. Neat.


I was also reading the recap of last week's Smallville episode, and just remembered something. There's a part where Clark and Chloe are driving up to LuthorCorp and in the background is a big ass bridge. Where is there a gigantic bridge in the middle of Kansas! WTF! Stupid filmed in Vancouver show.

-The Geek

A few words...

Oh. My. God. I felt like ass yesterday. I don't know how much I had to drink or even what it was, but I felt lousy. It might have been the tequila. Or any of the other various drinks I had, but I was pretty drunk Saturday. It still was an awesome time. Thanks to Jackie and Sarah for arranging the Limo-bus. I think I might owe them money for that. I promise to post or email some pictures soon also. I won't quite do the blow-by-blow account of the evenings debauchery, but a few bullet points might help.

• Pre-party with snacks


• Bus ride w/Pucker


• Tiki Bob's


• Longest Bus Ride Ever back to Jackie and Sarah's


• Passing out on the loveseat (but not the ottoman)


• Throwing up at 7 in the morning


• Tim Horton's for donuts and coffee on the way home

Sunday evening I went to my parent's for dinner, although their kitchen is still not done. They're supposed to have at least some of the counter done today though, even if the sink won't be working. After that I came home and just watched TV, and went to bed reasonably early. I still didn't wake up on time this morning though. Oh well, shit happens.

It's my Birthday!

It's not that important a birthday. Or at least not psychologically, not like turning 30 will be next year. But that's a different thing altogether. For that I have actual plans. I think for the last couple years I've been talking about going to Hawaii for my 30th, so I guess I have to buckle down a little bit and save some money for the trip.

Of course yesterday, I went and bought myself a GameBoy Advance SP for my birthday. I have a GameBoy already, but it doesn't have the backlit screen, so it's hard to see. The new one is much better. I got this poker game a couple weeks ago for it and have been playing that alot. I also bought the new Franz Ferndinand and My Morning Jacket albums. I'm listening to them now. I like it/them.

Last night I also ended up going out with Austin for a beer and some food. I didn't really have any dinner at the normal time, and so after Austin got off work, I gave him a call because he mentioned he might be doing something after work. He wasn't but then suggested the Redcoat Tavern to get some food and a beer, because their kitchen is open until close. Awesome. Austin's friend Alex also came by and hung out. I had a good corned beef sandwich and Alex got this calamari dish which was good that I had a taste of. It was a good time, pretty low-key.

I guess that really all for now.

-The Geek

Share my pain...

I watched Smallville last night. I'm not sure why I continue to torture myself with it. I think it was fine when Dan was around so we could bitch about it together, but now, I have no one to share the pain with. I'm not sure what's worst, the bad acting, the barely veiled homo-sexual tension between Lex and Clark, the continuing presense of Lois, the non-chemistry between Clark and Lana or just the lame-itude of the FotWs(Freak of the Week). It's torturous. I think the only reason I watch it now, is because of TWoP.

Moving on, I also watched Alias. That was at least good. Actually it was very good, even though they totally stole the plane boarding gag from some other movie (and I'm totally blanking on it, it's not Air Force One, but I'm not sure what it is, wait, looked it up, it's Executive Decision, just needed to remember that it had Steven Seagal in it). Other than that though I thought the rest was good. I totally thought that evil dude would totally say it was Sloane that giving orders, but he thought he'd be better off pulling a Daedelus.

One more thing, check this out Lost fans... The Hanso Foundation. Awesomeness.

-The Geek

The Highlight of the Scientific Calendar!

It's that time of the year again. The winners of the 2005 Ig Noble Awards were announced last night. Highlights are the results of research into whether people swim faster in water or syrup and also what the internal pressures are when a penguin poops. Awesome.

-The Dork

A long time ago, we used to be friends... / Mis-"Orientation"

Watched Veronica Mars last night. And Lost. Awesome. Or rather, Emosewa (it's a TWoP thing).

I was reading the forums at TWoP last night on Veronica Mars, and they were going crazy, much of the postings just commenting on lines, looks, VMs fashion choices, and of course there was much of the conspiracy-type talk. Interesting, but as much as a fan of the show that I am, I don't know that I could devote that much time discussing it. Maybe I'm just a fan of too many shows, and if I obsessed on only one show it'd be different.

Speaking of other shows, Lost was freakin' sweet. I knew something was up with Michelle Rodriguez's character. The Locke flashbacks were cool also. It's kind of funny that they can make his face look younger, but when you see his hands, you know he's an old guy. Kate Segal was also really good. I just about didn't recognize her even though I'd seen her name in the credits.
Sometimes suspending your disbelief is a "leap of faith" for this show.
I hope somebody else noticed the polar bears in the orientation movie. Also cool was that the scientists who founded it were U of M professors. I wonder if any of the staff for Lost went to U of M?
Anyway, very good episode.

-The Geek

I am cold and precise

ISTP - "Engineer". Values freedom of action and following interests and impulses. Independent, concise in speech, master of tools. 5.4% of total population.

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Main type	Variant

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Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 46% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||| 33% Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||| 36% Type 4 Sensitivity |||| 16% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||| 33% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||| 43% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||| 33% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||| 20% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||| 50% Your main type is 9 Your variant is social

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A few kind words for my friend Veronica

I watched the season premiere of Veronica Mars last night (because it didn't get recorded until Sunday when they showed the repeat) and yeah, it's like, wow, like, totally awesome. Some surprises, but still the same Veronica Mars. Though most of the episode was a flashback of events from the summer, it was pretty good, until the end when I had a total "WTF!" moment. This is going to be a very interesting season.

BTW, Charisma Carpenter as Dick and Beav's former-Laker-girl step-mom, awesome!

Also. I must buy the first season DVDs of Veronica Mars. Hmm. Maybe as a birthday present to myself.

-The Geek

Very Sleepy

Well, I am tired.

I went out last night with Jessica and Beckie and went to the Necto in A2 for Ryan's birthday. It was a good time, we finally met the mysterious "The Colleague". The Gays were very nice to us, although I think "The Colleague's" (boy?)friend was a little scared of Jeff. I can't remember who else I met, I think there was a Tim and there were some girls, and lesbians and drag queens and Long Islands and Denny's. I can only assume that Beckie and Jessica made it home safe, judging from Jessica's blog.

Then today, I went over to Al's place to watch the Wolverines triumph over the Spartans. Al is this guy I met last week at Karla's party who brought the luge. Anyways, I watched the game, ate some food, had some beers and played horseshoes. I am a horrible horseshoe player. Whoever said close counts in horseshoes was wrong. You have to be pretty damn accurate from a long distance to score any points. Chris is over now, catching up on some TV. I'm just tired. And kind of hungry, I didn't really have any dinner.

Yay! Showgirls is #1 at something!

Well, it's official.* Showgirls has the #1 Worst Sex Scene Ever. Awesome. I don't think I could describe it any better than The Register has. Read on here.

Linky

*According to Empire magazine.

Just to clarify

I watched the season premieres of Alias, Smallville and Everwood, and a relatively boring episode of The O.C. and also Joey. I love my Tee-Faux.

A couple words about Alias. First, Why is there now another Rambaldi-esque manuscript that is the freakin' McGuffin? Second, nobody is ever dead (except Lauren, but that's 'cause she's all frozen up). Third, the parachute FX shot was totally fake looking (in HD at least). Fourth, do they only show us how to get into APO at the beginning of the season, because they don't feel like putting together that set all the time? Fifth, there was no credits sequence, not even a little 2 second boom-chicka boom-chicka. Overall, I thought the episode was decent, but ultimately rang a little hollow.

B

Quickie riff on Smallville

I was so excited when at one point in tonight's Smallville episode, Lois almost dies. I was then sorely disappointed when she didn't. Also, Lex is eeeevil, with extra e's and there's lots of lame Clark/Lana B.S.

P.S. When did lower back tattoos get so cool? Cause all the hot alien ladies are sporting them this year.

TV Series Premieres Part V (Five, the last, maybe)

Well, this is the last of my series premiere reviews, unless there's something else I feel like watching and writing about. Whew. That was a lot of work.

ABC

Commander in Chief
(Tuesday at 9:00)

Mackenzie Allen (Geena Davis; Beetlejuice) is the Vice-President of the USA, an independent, and a woman. This becomes a problem when the Republican President has a stroke and later dies. She is asked to resign by both the President before he dies and by the Speaker of the House, Nathan Templeton (Donald Sutherland; Animal House) who would then step in as President. Templeton believes that Mac was only given the running mate slot as a campaign gimmick to increase support from women voters, and that her policies would not concur with the former president's. She is about to hand in her resignation when she get a speech from Templeton telling her that it's best that she resign because women just wouldn't be able to do the job. This basically convinces her to take over as President, and sets up the major conflict between her and Templeton.
It seems that this will be underlying plot, with Templeton trying to undermine her authority and prove that she is not capable of handling the responsibility and power that comes with being President. There are also other smaller conflicts with her children and husband. I thought the show was pretty good, though heavy-handed at times with it's agenda. Geena Davis is as usual, good, and Donald Sutherland plays the duplicitous Templeton with appropriate evilness. I wasn't immediately struck with a sense of "this is really good" but it did draw me in and make me want to continue watching. It has a lot of room to explore much of the same territory as The West Wing, but with a different perspective. I like it.

A-

Geeks unite!

Really, really, really cool interview from Time Magazine, of Joss Whedon and Neil Gaiman. Very good read.

Linky

From Slashdot

-The Geek

Fall TV Series Premieres Part 4 (IV, Four)

All I’ve got to say is “Suit Up!”

I still have to write up a review of Commander In Chief, which I should have done as soon as I get a chance to watch it.

CBS

How I Met Your Mother
(Monday at 8:30)

How I Met Your Mother is a story told through flashback of Ted (Josh Radnor) and how he met his wife. Ted is an architect who lives with his newly-engaged friend Marshall (Jason Segel; Freaks and Geeks) and Marshall’s fiancée, Lily (Alyson Hannigan; BtVS). He is spurred to find a mate by the engagement and receives sometimes unwanted dating help from Barney (Neil Patrick Harris; Doogie Houser, MD), although it is because of Barney’s prodding that he meets Robin (Cobie Smulders; Veritas). Ted instantly falls for her, but she is reluctant to return his affections because of her own insecurities.
So far, the show has been pretty funny, and especially, Barney gets the most outrageous lines. Robin is the girl you’d fall in love with at first sight, and Ted is your basic “Ross”-type. I like Alyson Hannigan (*tiny* BtVS obsession), but both her and Jason Segel are a bit underutilized, although I’m sure their characters can be fleshed out a bit more as the series goes on.

B+

Out of Practice
(Monday at 9:30)

Ben (Christopher Gorham; Popular) is a marriage counselor, who’s own marriage has just imploded, and he has to deal with his meddling mother (doctor [Stockard Channing]), wacky father (doctor [Henry Winkler]), pompous brother (plastic surgeon [Ty Burrell]) and a lesbian sister (ER doctor [Paula Marshall]). It’s your basic family sitcom, and it’s good. Henry Winkler is great, and I’m not sure if she’s just a recurring character or what, but look for Jennifer Tilly as his secretary/girlfriend. I’ve enjoyed the 2 episodes I’ve seen so far.

A-

Threshold
(Friday at 9:00 before NUMB3RS)

Dr. Molly Anne Caffrey (Carla Gugino; Spy Kids, Karen Sisco) specializes in creating plans for “worst-case scenarios.” Unfortunately for her, one of her scenarios has become reality, one involving possible alien first-contact. She’s called in to investigate, pulling together a team of a biologist (Brent Spiner; ST:NG), a “rocket scientist” (Robert Patrick Benedict; Felicity) and a linguist (Peter Dinklage; “an angry elf”: Elf). She also has crew of black ops military personnel to assist with “problems.” They head out to a ship that was in the area that the alien spacecraft landed and find that almost all of the crew is either missing or dead. There, they discover that there are aliens, and that they’re almost certainly hostile. Also the transmissions from the spacecraft were somehow able to mutate the DNA of any life in the area. It was even able to affect Dr. Caffrey, the aero-engineer and the head of the security team who watched a videotape of the spacecraft. It also seems that everyone affected by the spacecraft are now linked somehow. Creepy. I thought the show was pretty creepy, it had some humor (especially from the “civilians” in the team), and has a compelling mystery. It’s unfortunate it’s in a Friday night “death slot” because it had some excellent X-Files-style sci-fi goodness.
Recommended (for those that mourn the good-ole days of the X-Files)

A

[Soapbox]: I find it unfortunate that even though some sci-fi shows have arguably better writing, acting and direction than "regular" TV they tend to be overlooked because they have the sci-fi element. True, a lot of sci-fi TV tends to be crap, but so does a lot of regular TV. Do we really need 64535342 C.S.I.s and 45242523 Law & Orders? [/Soapbox]

*For British Eyes Only*

Last night's Arrested Development had me cracking up almost the entire time. George Sr., Lucille and Lindsay all doing their chicken dances... I was dying. Wee Britain... Rolling on the floor. So funny. I think I'll have to watch it again.

Weekend of weariness

A bit of a recaplet of this weekend.

Friday after work I went to Big Buck with co-workers as someone else was leaving the company. As usual I drank maybe one too many, but when you are getting others to buy your beers, a free beer is a beer I'm going to drink. After that, Jim (another former co-worker) and I headed into Pontiac for some food. We went to a place called Jalapenos, and had some very tasty Mexican food. They had some very interesting dips for the chips there. The tamales were good, and everything else I had was good to. After that I just went home and watched TV, and fell asleep fairly early.

Saturday, after watching some more TV, I went to my parents house to help install the laminate floor they had gotten for the kitchen remodel. We got about halfway done and as my dad was getting tired, we stopped for the night.
I went home after that and tried calling people to see if they were going to Tiki, I didn't get any answers until later, but as I was heading in my house, my next door neighbor calls me over to tell me the neighbor across the street was having a party, and I was invited. I had seen a bunch of cars, so I figured something was going on. I showered and whatnot and then headed over to Karla's to party. I brought some beer from my fridge. There were a couple people watching the UofM game, so I caught the end of it. Pathetic. Bah.
After that I started to drink more heavily. In the backyard they had set up "the luge" which is a chunk of ice with grooves cut in it down which you pour liqour, cooling it on the way to your mouth. That was awesome. I chatted with lots of Karla's friends and co-workers and had a good time.
I think I left sometime just before 2 as I was tired and I had to help my dad with the rest of the floor in the morning.

Sunday, I went over to my parent's house and we finished the floor. We had to finish it because the new appliances were being delivered today, and then the counter people can come in and finish things up in there.
I watched the seaon premieres of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy, although I was interrupted in the middle of Grey's Anatomy by a call from Dan in the City, but I didn't mind as we hadn't talked in a bit and as such were catching up on things.

So, that's about it for my weekend. Not that it matters. Cool.

-The Geek

P.S. I don't know why I've never been to a party where they have an ice luge... supposedly they're huge at colleges... must not have known the right people.

Fall TV Series Premieres Pt. 3

Here's part 3 of my TV premieres reviews. I just saw that Head Cases has already been canceled, so I can see that there is still plenty of time for others to canceled. I'm also working on writeups for CBS shows, and I will hopefully have those a bit later.


WB

Supernatural
(Tuesday at 9:00 after Gilmore Girls)

Supernatural is the story of two brothers, 1* (Jensen Ackles; Smallville) and 2** (Jared Padalecki; Gilmore Girls), trying to track down their father who’s disappeared. Their father’s pursuit has been the “demon” that killed their mother when they were boys, and they have often joined him on these quests, fighting other spirits and monsters over the years. However, this time he’s gone alone and hasn’t checked in for a while, and 1 needs help. 2 gave up chasing ghosts to live a normal life, is about to go to law school, and lives with a serious girlfriend. 1 convinces 2 to join him for just this one time, and after that 2 can get back in time for his law school interview. They investigate the last case their father was working on, solving it’s mystery while tangling with the local law enforcement and nearly getting killed like 3 times. They also find a clue their father has left, coordinates (“an old Marine trick”), and set back to fulfill the promise of 2’s impending interview. When 2 gets home, he can not find serious girlfriend, and to his horror, finds she has been killed by the same demon that killed his mother. This steels his resolve to find his father and help him defeat the demon.

I really didn’t want to like this show, I thought it was going to be really gimmicky and cheesy, but instead, it was genuinely scary, and had a pretty decent plot. The acting is good by WB standards, and the effects are really cool.

B+

Twins
(Friday at 8:30 after What I Like About You)
Mitchee (Sara Gilbert;Roseanne) and Farrah (Molly Stanton) are “twins” who are taking over as Co-Presidents the company their parents, Cousin Larry, er, Alan (Mark Linn-Baker; Perfect Strangers) and Lee (Melanie Griffith) founded. Their parents are retiring, but that doesn’t mean they can’t interfere. And even thought they’re twins, the girls couldn’t be more different, Farrah, blond, pretty and shallow; Mitchee, smart and “not-pretty”. Haha! Not. It’s just not that funny, I like Sara Gilbert, but neither her nor Cousin Larry can save the show from the lame plot, unfunny jokes, and generally sloppy, lazy and just bad writing.

D+ (plus for Sara Gilbert)

Just Legal
(Monday at 9:00 after The Show That Shall Not Be Named Because On It If You Have Premarital Sex You Will Get Pregnant)

David “Skip” Ross (Jay Baruchel; Undeclared) is a prodigy who at 18 has just graduated law school and passed the bar. He cannot find a job at any law firms because he is so young. Drunky McDrunkard aka Grant Cooper (Don Johnson; Miami Vice, Nash Bridges) is a former hot-shot defense attorney who now works as a public defender and also works insurance cases that the “friendly” local police force passes along to him. He is cynical and jaded. Skip is naïve and idealistic. Drunky lets Skip do some work with him, and even lets him try a case in court, but only because the judge forced him to bring along someone else. Meanwhile, the defendant says she’s not guilty, and Skip enters this plea, against the wishes of Drunky, forcing them to investigate the case and find evidence to prove her innocence. There’s a lot of blah-blah, but in the end, the girl gets acquitted and Drunky realizes the error of his ways and rediscovers his idealism. Skip will continue to work with Grant and we’re left with Grant putting on his sunglasses on the boardwalk outside their hip, beachfront office in a shot reminiscent of Nash Bridges. Generally the show is pretty decent, I like Jay Baruchel, the writing is good, but I think there’s only so far they can take the 2-dimensional-ness of the characters before it gets stale. I’m going to keep watching, and hopefully it develops into something even better.

B-

*Haven’t bothered yet to look up the character’s name
**Ditto above, plus it’s easier to write. And funnier.

Ooo ooo aaah aaah!

You Are A: Monkey!

Monkeys are intelligent and agile, well-adapted for jungle life as they swing happily from tree to tree. As a monkey, you are a social animal who prefers a warm climate, eats a wide range of food and is quick to learn new things. A monkey's tiny primate features are irresistable, as is his gregarious personality!

You were almost a: Bear Cub or a Lamb
You are least like a: Squirrel or a BunnyDiscover What Cute Animal You Are!

Chip on my shoulder, chip in my windshield

Well,it's happened again. On my way to work this morning, I got another chip in my windshield. The only good thing is that's it's not nearly as big as the previous chip nor is it in a view-obscuring position, thus not necessitating a new windshield. It's still annoying though. I guess I'm not following close enough for the rocks to go completely over or far enough back where they fall harmlessly to the ground.

See this post for details of the first windshield cracking.

More TV for your reading pleasure

OK. Here are a few more new series reviews. Also, I realized I was somewhat incorrect in my assertion that there at 18 hours of primetime network TV on every night, when in fact there are only 15. Fox, WB and UPN each only have 2 hours of programming.

NBC

My Name Is Earl
(Tuesday at 9:00 before The Office)

My Name Is Earl stars Jason Lee (Mallrats, Chasing Amy) as Earl, a white-trash loser with an unfaithful wife (Jaime Pressley), and a drunk of a brother (Ethan Suplee; Mallrats). Earl wins a $100,000 Lotto scratch-off and in the process of celebrating gets hit by a car. In a morphine-induced haze at the hospital, he takes note of Carson Daly talking about Karma and has an epiphany of sorts. This you might have all gotten from the promos, but what doesn’t come through is how likable a loser Earl is. As awful a person as he is, you get the feeling he means well. So, Earl begins to make up for all the bad things he’s done, and we’re along for the ride. The characters are quirky, but believable, the dialogue is witty and the voiceover never gets in the way or annoying. I, of course, have liked Jason Lee since Mallrats, but here he seems to have room to really stretch out and just go for it. Jaime Pressley is great as the stereotypical W-T gum-snapping, hot-pant-wearing, super-big-haired, cheating, ex-wife. Very funny.
Recommended.

A

ABC

Invasion
(Wednesday at 10:00 after Lost)

Here’s how it breaks down. There’s a hurricane coming and everyone is getting ready for it, including Blah (Russell), a park ranger in the Everglades, his kids, Rose and Blah-Jr.(Jesse). Blah’s new wife, Larkin (huh?) is a TV reporter and also pregnant. Her brother, Dave (Tyler Labine) is a conspiracy theorist, and irresponsible. Blah’s ex-wife, Mariel is a control-freak doctor and married to the town’s sheriff, Sheriff (Tom) Underlay (William Fichtner; Go, Black Hawk Down). Sheriff Tom, also has a daughter, Kira. This hurricane wreaks havoc in the town, and somehow Mariel ends up lost and is found naked in the swamp, alive but somehow different. Sheriff Tom puts the town under quarantine for no particular reason. Rose, who ran off to look for the McGuffin, I mean, her cat, saw lights in the sky land in the water when the hurricane was happening all around her and she tells this to Dave, who has to investigate as all conspiracy nuts must. He finds something mysterious, and things just get more mysterious. Unfortunately, these must be the dumbest aliens ever, as even a 5-year-old, Rose, can tell that something’s amiss. Good thing for the aliens that the townspeople are even dumber than a 5-year-old. It’s all very Pod-people-y. I don’t think I’ll watch it regularly.

D

Lost for words

Well, the Lost premiere was not what I expected. It was creepy and weird, and there's stuff that doesn't make sense and of course it plays up the dichotomy of Jack and Locke's philosophies even a bit more than before. It was a very Jack-centric episode, and the flashbacks of him are kind of funny because of the wig they put him in makes him look like Greg from Dharma and Greg. I'm just glad they had the review episode before though, because it definately helped get me caught back up. Ok. That's probably almost too much if you haven't seen the episode yet. Sorry. Back to your normal activities.

-The Geek

Mike’s Fall TV New Series Reviews

For those not able to watch all 18 hours of primetime television that are on every night, I’m doing a public service, taking the bullet and watching as much as I can and letting you guys know what’s good and what’s crap. Some things I decided were crap and haven’t even bothered with, but what I’ve watched so far of new series, I’ll give you the scoop. (This may be several parts)

FOX

Reunion
(Thursday at 9 after The OC)

Reunion is about six close friends and their stories from 20 years in the past when they graduated high school up to the present where one of them is murdered and one of the others did it. Each episode is supposed to be a year, so it starts back in 1986 with a party. I basically got bored and annoyed by the predictable plot after 10 minutes and turned to something else.

C-

Kitchen Confidential
(Monday at 8:30 after Arrested Development which you should be watching anyways)

Jack Bourdain (Bradley Cooper; Will on Alias) was a hotshot chef who let women, drugs and booze ruin his career. We catch up with him when he’s working at an Olive-Garden-type restaurant. He then gets a call from the owner of an upscale restaurant that recently fired the head chef. He takes the job and has to assemble a stereotypically motley crew of assistants. There’s the Seafood Specialist (John Cho; Harold of Harold and Kumar), the Pastry Genius (Nicholas Brendon; Xander from BtVS), the wild Sous Chef (Owain Yeoman) and the incompetent newbie (John F. Daley of Freaks and Geeks). Then there’s the front of house staff, the girl that put the ho’ in hostess (Jaime King), and the house manager (Bonnie Somerville; lawyer Rachel from The OC). Despite the tension and disorder of the opening night, the crew manage to get a good review of the restaurant and it seems that Jack is back on his way up, at least as far as his career is concerned. The same cannot be said for his person life, as his reputation precedes him and causes many comic misunderstandings. That’s not to say the show is slapstick or stupid. Actually it’s well written, and very genuinely funny. The ensemble cast all fulfills their roles well, and Jack is very likable and sympathetic. I really enjoyed it and was almost immediately thinking that it was a really great show, as opposed to having to warm up to it.

Highly recommended.

A


Head Cases
(Wednesday at 9:00)

Jason Payne (Chris O’Donnell) is a high-priced lawyer, who ignores his family and when he gets kicked out of his house, the stress of his job and the pressures of family finally get to him and he has a breakdown, one where the TV talks to him. (My TV talks to me, but I don’t usually answer back) After spending 2 months in a “wellness center” he is declared ready to reenter society, but his doc makes him have a buddy, kind of like a sponsor in AA. Unfortunately his buddy Shultz is also a lawyer, and one with a “small anger management” problem (described as Explosive Disorder). Shultz also is the stereotypical bottom feeder type of lawyer whose typical clientele consist of prostitutes and anyone else that nobody would defend. Jason loses his job at the high-power firm, is still not able to be back with his family, and ends up having to work with Shultz. They help each other with their cases, in typical buddy-comedy fashion. Adam Goldberg keeps it just shy of annoying, and there is enough chemistry between him and Chris O’Donnell to make it interesting. I’m going to keep watching, but hopefully this doesn’t turn into an Ally-McBeal-parade of goofy clients.

B-

Bones
(Tuesday at 8:00)

Temperance Brennan (Emily Deschanel) is a forensic anthropologist and not a people person. Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz of Angel) is an FBI agent and detractor of science. See, comedy gold of the "Odd Couple" variety. Grudgingly Brennan (a.k.a the titularily nicknamed "Bones") works with Booth to solve crimes when ever they find bodies that need explaining. To help discover the identities of victims Bones and her (once again) motley crew of scientists and computer geniuses use "sophisticated" computerized scanners and other science-y stuff to recreate in a C.S.I.-like holographic chamber the victims and methods of their demises. I seriously think the writers just wrote "science stuff" in the script wherever they needed explanations and let researchers fill it in. There was even a montage of Bones hard at work, reassembling the skull of a victim. ‘Cause science is hard. In the end, both Bones and Booth find that they need each others strengths to solve cases. The first episode was a bit cheesy, and the dialogue is kind of lame at times (no need to be so self-referential as to refer to yourselves as "Mulder and Scully") but I think the show can and should improve.

B

More pirate-y-ness

My pirate name is:

Dirty William Bonney

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Arrr. This post be full of puns.

Arrr. Know me not that this be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Avast me hearties, blow the man down, hang 'em from the yardarm, run out the mizzen, walk the plank, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Aye. Me thinks this be not discouraging thee from lookin' fer pirate jokes here. X marks the spot. I be drivin' me favorite car, the Subaru W-Arrr-X. My favorite subject in school, if I went, be Arrrrt. Heave to, and check it out. Arrr.

"Professor, what's another name for pirate treasure?"
"Why, that would be booty."

I am a celebrity-news ho'

I don't even know why I'm bothering, but I'm going to mention it for those 2 people in the jungle of French Guiana who have probably not heard it yet, but Britney and professional sperm donor K-Fed finally had their kid. Preston. Preston? Ugh.
That and Rene Zellweger and Kenny Chesney are getting an annulment. What I heard on the radio this morning was that there had been no consumation of the marriage. Kenny must like wearing chaps for reasons other than he sings country music if you know what I mean.
I also saw something about the Olsen twins and how they're getting the kids that played the kid in Big Daddy to be a 'tween boys brand, similar to the Olsen twins for 'tween girls. Ridiculous.
Oh, and if there had been any Paris Hilton news I probably would have included that too. I am so ashamed of myself.

I did not know that.

Interesting post about what The Chief Justice of the United States actually is responsible for. I don't remember how I came across this blog, but I read it on and off.

What does the Chief Justice do anyways?

Dancing days are here again...

"...I told your mama I get you home, but I didn't say I got no car..."

It's on the radio right now, so I felt like including in this.

Anyways, nothing really important to report, weekend was fun, Friday Coronado came over and we watched TV, Iron Chef was Battle Crayfish, and that was amusing. Saturday was Austin's housewarming, and I had some leftovers from his family dinner, which were pretty tasty. Chris2 showed up and we had to explain the concept of 'blogging to him because of some reason or another. Also Saturday, I bought the first season of Lost. Suanday, I watched BSG, and some other stuff and then went to dinner at this good Mexican restaurant in Westland with Austin and Coronado. Then we went to see Red Eye at the Livonia 20. It was a fun movie, Cillian Murphy was appropriately creepy. Rachel McAdams was also really good. Haha! She was in Mean Girls. *Happy Dance of trivial superiority*

Ok, I guess that's all I feel like writing about now. Must return to actual work. Blah.

My heart is filled with lust...

Technolust! Behold, my precious, my beauteous, the loveliest, the iPod Nano. Mmmmm. Droooool.

I so want one. But that is silly. I already have an iPod. But I want this one too! Oh, the humanity!

Not about me...

Came across this article this morning about Burning Man. Pretty interesting. OK, that's it.

Read Me!

Guess I should post something...

Geez. I feel like I haven't done anything this weekend, but it was still busy. I have to go back to work tomorrow, but hmmm, it will already be Wednesday! Excellent. I will post more maybe tomorrow, as I have wanted to do little but catch up on TV all weekend. And there's still more to go. And season premieres coming also. Oy!

Jessica'd love this place

DSC00616.JPG
Originally uploaded by M Kawamoto.

Well, finally getting a picture up from my trek to NYC with Dan. This picture I took when we were wandering around the East Village. We walked past some place serving brunch, saw the sign, and thought of Jessica. See, there are things to like about New York.

I should have a permanent link to this...

Pure Geek 30 % Nerd, 82% Geek, 39% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Geek, earning you the title of: Pure Geek. It's not that you're a school junkie, like the nerd, and you don't really stand out in a crowd, like the dork, you just have some interests that aren't quite mainstream. Perhaps it's anime, perhaps it's computers, perhaps it's bottlecaps, perhaps it's all of those and more. Your interests take you to events and gatherings that are filled with people you find unusual and beyond-the-pale, but you don't quite consider yourself "of that crowd." Instead, you consider yourself to be fairly normal. Which, you are. Congratulations! You're the one on the RIGHT! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in either of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 7% on nerdiness You scored higher than 99% on geekosity You scored higher than 68% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid

Mind the gap... The Delaware Water Gap that is...

Well, we have successfully navigated our way to our hotel, Dan's stuff is in storage, and we are off to get food soon. More later.

More robot-tasticness

This is freakin' sweet!

Some guy built a computer into a "life-sized" Bender robot from Futurama. Awesome. Here's the link.

P.S. The best part is the button he has that plays the soundbite, "Bite my shiny metal ass!"

More chatting, less talking

Well, since I have a Gmail account anyways, I went and got hooked up with Google Talk. (Gtalk for short, or at least that what I heard was cool) And it's pretty boring at 3 in the morning when I don't even know if people have gmail addresses with which to chat them up. anyway, check it out at Google Talk. Leave me a comment if you have such an account and have gotten the Gtalk software or have set it up for your chat client of choice. Mine is Fire

Stolen from Tess (Mk. II)

Let's try this again.

X: I've seen it
O: I've seen parts of it

X	Rocky Horror Picture Show
X	Grease
X	Pirates of the Caribbean
	Boondock Saints
X	The Mexican
X	Fight Club
X	Starsky and Hutch
X	Neverending Story
O	Blazing Saddles
X	Airplane
X	The Princess Bride
X	Young Frankenstein
X	AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
X	Napoleon Dynamite
	Saw
	White Noise
X	White Oleander
X	Anger Management
X	50 First Dates
	Jason X
X	Scream
X	Scream 2
X	Scream 3
X	Scary Movie
X	Scary Movie 2
	Scary Movie 3
X	American Pie
X	American Pie 2
X	American Wedding
X	Harry Potter
X	Harry Potter 2
X	Harry Potter 3
	Resident Evil I
	Resident Evil 2
X	The Wedding Singer
	Little Black Book
	The Village
X	Donnie Darko
X	Lilo & Stitch
	Finding Nemo
	Finding Neverland
X	13 Ghosts
X	Signs
	The Grinch
X	Texas Chainsaw Massacre
	White Chicks
	Butterfly Effect
X	Thirteen Going on 30
	I, Robot
X	Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
O	Universal Soldier
	A Series Of Unfortunate Events
	Along Came Polly
	Deep Impact
X	KingPin
X	Never Been Kissed
X	Meet The Parents
X	Meet the Fockers
	Eight Crazy Nights
	A Cinderella Story
	The Terminal
	The Lizzie McGuire Movie
	Passport to Paris
X	Dumb & Dumber
	Dumb & Dumberer
X	Final Destination
X	Final Destination 2
X	Halloween
X	The Ring
	The Ring 2
X	Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
X	Practical Magic
X	Chicago
	Ghost Ship
X	From Hell
X	Hellboy
	Secret Window
	I Am Sam
X	The Whole Nine Yards
X	The Day After Tomorrow
	Child's Play
	Bride of Chucky
X	Ten Things I Hate About You
X	Just Married
X	Gothika
	Nightmare on Elm Street
X	Sixteen Candles
	Coach Carter
X	Bad Boys
	Bad Boys 2
	Joy Ride
X	Seven
X	Ocean's Eleven
	Ocean's Twelve
	Identity
	Lone Star
X	Bedazzled
O	Predator
	Predator II
X	Independence Day
	Cujo
	A Bronx Tale
	Darkness Falls
O	Christine
X	ET
O	Children of the Corn
	My Boss' daughter
	Maid in Manhattan
	Frailty
	Best Bet
	How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
X	She's All That
	Calendar Girls
	Sideways
O	Mars Attacks
X	Event Horizon
X	Ever After
X	Forrest Gump
O	Big Trouble in Little China
X	X-Men
X	X-2: X-Men United
X	Jeepers Creepers
X	Jeepers Creepers 2
	Catch Me If You Can
	The Others
X	Freaky Friday
	Reign of Fire
X	Cruel Intentions
X	The Hot Chick
	Swimfan
	Miracle
O	Old School
	Ray
	The Notebook
	K-Pax
X	Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
X	Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
X	Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
X	A Walk to Remember
	Boogeyman
	Hitch
X	The Fifth Element
X	Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
X	Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
X	Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
X	Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
X	Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
X	Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi...
X	Troop Beverly Hills
	Swimming with Sharks
X	Air Force One
	For Richer or Poorer
X	Trainspotting
	People Under the Stairs
	Blue Velvet
X	Sound of Music
X	Parent Trap 1
	Parent Trap 2
X	The Burbs
X	The Terminator
X	Empire Records
X	SLC Punk
	Meet Joe Black

Not to inconvenience you, but...

Hey all,

I have turned on the "word verification" feature on comments, to alleviate any spamming problems. Basically it means, if you want to comment, you'll have to type in a word that the put up to verify you're a real person and not some scary 'bot slathering hot spam all over everything. That sounded kind of weird. So, anyway, that's the dilly-yo. Let me know if it annoys you too much, and I may turn it off. But probably not. Word.

-The Geek

Im not smart i dont know why

Much More Emotional You have: 55% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and 85% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored well above average on emotional intuition and about average on scientific intuition.Keep in mind that very few people score high on both! In effect, you can compare your two intuition scores with each other to learn what kind of intuition you're best at. Your emotional intuition is stronger than your scientific intuition. Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake. Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Scientific You scored higher than 99% on Interpersonal

Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Berkley Sty-lee

The O.C: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee


Previously on The O.C.: Oakland County,

Mike had broken his arm and there was a stunt double, Brian Doyle Murray, and there were sexy redheads who did not make out with him. It’s now six weeks later.

Meeting with studio and network executives.

Me: Ah, finally, my arm’s healed and I don’t have to wear the sling anymore. So, when do I start making out with hot chicks again?
Producer: Didn’t anyone tell you? We’re on hiatus until the next season begins. We won’t be filming for another couple months.
Me: Damn.
Network Exec #1: Well, you’ll just have to find some other way to fulfill your juvenile sex fantasies for a while.
Me: Hmm. I wonder if “Hot Blondes” needs a guest star?

Several days later.

Me: Dude. I’m sorry there was this miscommunication involving the picking up of the “Hot Blondes” from the COA meeting. I thought that they were going to be waiting in the meeting room. They were at the loading dock. Then something hilarious happened involving a nun, a preacher and a horse.
Dan: (annoyed) Well, as long as no one lost their head.
Me: Umm...
Audience: (Raucous Laughter)
Me: Hey! Since when have I had a laugh track? I thought this show was supposed to be edgy and hip and not need a laugh track.
Dan: I think I heard that your ratings sucked and they decided to “punch it up” with added gags and lame jokes.
Me: That sucks.
Audience: (Raucous Laughter)
Me: OK. That is getting really annoying.
Audience: (Raucous Laughter)
Me: (Angrier) AHHH!! Shut up! Go away!
Audience: [crickets chirping]
Me: Much better.
Dan: Dude. Don’t be a spaz.
Me: ‘S cool. I’m cool. So, is this all that’s going on here?
Dan: Pretty much.
Me: Ok. I’ll see you later than.
Audience: (Tittering)
Me: (Evilly glaring) Hey! Ok, I’ll see you ‘round. Bye.
Audience: (silence)

Some more time passes.

Me: How am I going to have hot chicks come over to my house? I can’t even get the hot chicks I know to come over. Think McFly, think!

Suddenly, Leah Thompson shows up.

Lea Thompson: George McFly, you’re so dreamy.
Me: Uh, my name's not George. What are doing here?
LT: You’re my density. Uh, I mean, my destiny.
Me: This is heavy.
LT: In a way, yeah, kinda.
Me: So, you never answered my question. What are you doing here?
LT: I thought we were going to park.
Me: Like my car?
LT: No, like in your car. I brought booze and cigarettes.
Me: There’s no smoking in my car. But that doesn’t matter because we’re in my living room. Well, there’s no smoking in my house either.
Crispin Glover: Get your damn meathooks off her!
Me: What? I wasn’t even near her.
CG: Oh, really? How about I just look really creepy and carry a cane around.
Me: Sure, knock yourself out.

Dreamy fade-out

Back to the boardroom with network execs…

Network Exec #1: So, that’s how the first scene from the next season will go. I think the guest stars and blatant ripping off of movie properties should really get the ratings up.
Producer: What about recasting the lead?
Me: What? I’m the show! You can’t recast me!
Network Exec #2: We can do whatever we want. If that means recasting the show with a hot, new, up-and-comer we’ll do it. Your contract specifically gives us that power.
Me: [under breath] Knew I shouldn’t have hired an entertainment lawyer from that flyer I found on my windshield.
Me: [to Execs] OK, well fine. I’ll do whatever we need to do to keep this show going.
Producer: *gleam in his eye* I’m sure we’ll think of something…

Find out what happens on the next not very exciting or funny episode of The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee

Scenes from the next episode

Me in a teapot costume standing on a chair balanced over a gigantic, writhing CGIed lava-filled crater.

Me: I’m a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout. When I start to whistle, hear me shout, “tip me over and pour me *falling off chair* ooooooouuuuuuuuut!”

Julia Louis Dreyfus and Jane Krakowski sitting in the conference room with network execs

Julia Louis Dreyfus: Well, if I have to make out with him, I’m going to need at least 3 times scale.
Jane Krakowski: That’s what she said!
Audience: (Raucous laughter)

Set of The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee

Director: So in this scene I want you to look like you’re really surprised that she found you in her underwear. OK?
Me: (resignedly) Fine.
Director: Action!
Me: *half-hearted surprised look* (slowly, deliberately) Oh. My. God. I can’t believe you found out my dirty, little, secret. I like to dress up in your clothes.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: How do you even fit in them? No wonder half of them were all stretched out! Why did you do this?
Me: I’m Mike. I’m a pervert.
Audience: (sparse laughter)
Me: I like to wear bras. *shrug*
Audience: [crickets chirping]

Announcer Guy: Find out next time!

That's unfortunate that they live there...

Funny article from one of my favorite websites, The Register


Brits steal carloads of F**king Austrian roadsigns

Old Older Oldest Olderest

In the spirit of summer reruns, I give you last season's episodes of The O.C.: Oakland County Berkley Sty-lee.

P.S. I basically ripped this off of Dan, so, Thanks, Dan.

Spork! 3/31
Has crossdressers and brunettes and dead chicks.

Berkley Stylee 4/13
Actually spoofs "The O.C." with guest appearances from Mischa Barton and Rachael Bilson

Now With 50% Less Lesbians 4/21
Includes reference to Ellen Degeneres and Sarah Michelle Gellar

Berkley Sty-lee 5/07
The first appearance of Chloe from Smallville and also Veronica Mars.

Berkley Sty-lee 5/16
More Chloe, even less sensical. Also references "Joyce Dewitt Nude" and the comic-con.

Berkley Sty-lee 6/16
Oooh. Hot redheads, stunt doubles, drugs and network execs.

20, 30, 40, 50, I doesn't matter... but it does. Maybe.

I saw The 40 Year-Old Virgin last night with Austin, because he had a free pass to the sneak preview at the Birmingham 8. It was hilarious. The ending just cracked me up. The whole movie though is great. Steve Carell was really good. They never make his character out to be a total loser, just someone who missed his chances. And he is actually pretty smooth when he does try. Plus he has a toy and comic collection that puts Austin's to shame.

The movie is actually really sweet, without being annoying or preachy. Go see it. I command it. You will like it. I swear. It's good.

Grade: A

Nothing ever happens during the week...

I swear! Geez, I think I need to update more often that just on Monday, to describe my weekend. Well, anyway, here's this weekend, in case you missed out.

Friday night, Dan got out of work somewhat early, and he and I watched "Monk" and some other stuff while waiting for Austin to call to give us the info on Dim Sum. We met up with Austin and Audrey there about midnight. Some of Austin's co-workers and friends were also there, Gary, Ben, and two other's whose names escape me at the moment. Austin's other sister Andrea showed up a bit later with Gerald, who's in the band Pas/Cal. Here's some of the dishes we had. We ate a lot, but not so much that we were completely stuffed. That, I was a little disappointed about.

Saturday night was the bonfire party at Coronado's Burner friends' house. That was pretty cool and chill and laid back. There was someone (Guy. No really. That's his name) who brought Absinthe, Dan and Austin both tried it, Dan didn't like the taste, so it was probably better that we didn't buy the horribly overpriced stuff in Canada. Art, whose house it was, also blew fire, which was awesomely cool.

Sunday, I slept in and watched a lot of TV and went to my mom's for dinner. She made Chile Rellenos with chiles from her garden. Umm, tasty. And then I watched more TV at home. Yay, TV. And that was my weekend. Blah.

World's Worst Writer...

Link originally from The Register.

There is a contest run by the English department at San Jose State University, that rewards the best "worst" first line of an imaginary novel. It's based on the infamous, "It was a dark and stormy night," line that has been used as the punchline of many a literary allusion. Some history of the contest here and the awful results and the "winner" here

I didn't even know this existed, but it sounds like a lot of fun. I'll have to come up with an idea for next year's contest...

"He jumped up from his chair, like a cricket startled by a dog, and..."

Geez. It's harder than I thought to write really horrific prose, and not just merely awful.

Keywords for this weekend.

Mike's Weekend:

Drama. Catalog Only. Smoking. Beer. "Chicken." Exhaustion. Massive Head Wound. Emergency Room. No Sleep. Coldest Triage Ever. 7 Staples. Croissandwich. Some Sleep. Worry. More Smoking. More Drama. Dairy Queen. Moving. Fudgesicle. Birthday Party. Meatballs. Bachelor Party. Even More Smoking. Strippers. Beer. Toy Show. Enough Sleep. Lawnmowing. Parent's House. Dinner. Ice Cream. TV. Iron Chef. Too Much Drama.

Do you? Understand? The words coming out of my mouth?

Because of the problem conveying humorous intent in text, I will provide this link from The Register.


The Color of Irony

Use at your discretion.

Why you should always retain custody of the photos

Warning!!!

NSFW!!!!!!!!!

Contains nudity!!!

I'm not kidding!!!

Once again, people have come to my site looking for things that aren't here. One of them is this site that someone was looking for.

This site is the perfect example of how it is never a good idea to let anyone take pictures of you naked. Especially if you don't actually have the originals.

The-Diatribe's Meme

This was taken from the-diatribe.blogspot.com:

1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

a) Letting my “friends” convince me to embarrass myself so they would be friends with me in middle school
b) Not studying enough in college
c) Not listening to my heart

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

a) Still probably my mom.

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up five people to dine with, who would you pick?

a) Caitlin
b) Glenn Curtiss (aviation pioneer)
c) Aubrey
d) my Uncle Toby, who died when I was 3
e) Mohammed, so I could ask him about jihad, and whether it is being perpetrated against his ideals

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

a) Every one could find their “the one”
b) There will be no more misinterpretation of anything written or spoken
c) The well-being of others overrides personal greed

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

Regret:
a) Detroit is the “Worst Place to Meet Someone” according to Men’s Health. I concur.
b) Detroit does not have a public transportation system worth anything. Out-of-towners require a car to get anywhere or see anything.

Avoid:
a) Various areas of Detroit, most notably anywhere outside of downtown, the Southside, the Westside, Highland Park, Royal Oak Township….
b) Winter weather. Snow only hides the potholes.

6. Name one event that has changed your life.

a) Buying a house. That’s only maybe the most recent big thing. So many things change your life everyday, but it’s a matter of degrees of change, some miniscule, some significant

7. Tag 3 people.

a) deadboyzone
b) allalongthewatercooler
c) misanthropicsob

Make with the talking and such-like

Last night I got in touch with my fraternity brother Jared. I'd been meaning to catch up with him, but we kept missing each other on IM. The last time I'd talked to him, he was in NYC, and as Dan was on his way, I thought they could meet up.

It turns out he's back in L.A. and he seems happy. After IMing for a while, he suggested we just talk on the phone. I don't know why we didn't come to that conclusion earlier, but, I called and we talked for over an hour, maybe closer to 2, just catching up and giving updates on where people we knew were and what they were up to. He told a long involved story about Aaron Travis, and I told him the short story of the origins of Captain Sparkle.

He also suggested I come visit him in L.A. Now, I've been looking for an excuse to get out of town, so I'll have to figure out getting a flight out there and whatnot. I think flying Spirit Airlines is fairly cheap, and I'm probably going to go in the Oct-Nov time frame. I suppose I should also check in with K-Fish and Michelle too, although San Diego is a bit of a drive, so meeting somewhere halfway might be an idea.

Anyway, it was much like old times and really good talking with him. Oy!

Oooo. Everything is so green

Well, not really. But this is cool. I'm posting from Dashboard. Neato. I love Mac OS X. Scotchy, scotch, scotch.

I are smart.

Computer Geek Alert!

So, I got a copy of Tiger (Mac OS X 10.4 for those not into these things) and in preparation for installing it, I decided I should finally back up my hard drive. I have a 120Gb in the computer, and it's actually nearly full, although 50 Gigs is MP3s. I thought that making sure these were safely stored was a good idea, especially so, if I did have a problem, I wouldn't have to re-rip all of that.

With that in mind, I bought a new hard drive, another 120 Gb at my favorite store, which after rebates is only $40. I was going to put it in the external Firewire case I already have, to replace the 40 Gig that was there.

Well, I swapped in the 120 only to have it not work. I had gotten the 120 not only because it was cheap, but also because that Firewire chipset doesn't support drives larger than 128Gb. Well, it wasn't working. I couldn't get the drive to format or mount or anything. It was at this point I figured that I maybe had the wrong firmware version in it. I did some digging and found a utility to flash the firmware to a more current version. Eureka! (and not the vacuum) So anyway, at that point I finally was able to back up the drive. Tomorrow I shall install Tiger. Yay!

Oh, yeah, uh, Tiger has a bunch of improvements and stuff and it's better than the current version of OS X (10.3) I'm running now, so, it's good and stuff.

Tranced out

I just finished Harry Potter. Wow. Not what I expected. I even cried a little. Now I must go to bed.

"X" Marks the Spot

Stolen from "Ry-Bear"

Put an "x" if you have ever done any of the following...
( ) snuck out of the house
(X) gotten lost in your city
(X) saw a shooting star
(X) been to any other countries besides the united states
(X) had a serious injury
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) flown over a volcano in a helicopter
(X) been on a volcano
(X) kissed a stranger*
(X) hugged a stranger*
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(X) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(X) swore at your parents
(X) been in love
(X) been close to love
(X) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
(X) broken a bone
(X) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(X) faked sick
(X) flashed someone*
(X) mooned someone*
( ) saw a therapist
(X) done the splits
(X) played spin the bottle*
(X) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of apple juice in less than one hour
(X) bitten someone*
(X) been to Niagara Falls
(X) gotten the chicken pox
(X) kissed a member of the same sex(cheek)*
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(X) ridden in a taxi*
(X) been dumped
(X) shoplifted
(X) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to someone you loved
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(X) been to Europe
( ) slept with a co-worker
(X) slept with anyone
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die
(XX) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
(X) Driven over 400 miles in one day
(X) Been to Canada*
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Notebook
(X) Thrown up in a bar*
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) Eaten Sushi
(X) Been skiing/snowboarding
(X) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(X) gone to college*
(X) graduated college
( ) done hard drugs
( ) tried killing yourself
(X) fired a gun
( ) purposely hurt yourself
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
( ) gone or going to summer school
(X) swam a mile [I would think so, I was on the City swim team in middle school]
( ) ran a 5K race
(X) played paintball
( ) realized you were w/ the wrong person after it was too late
(X) lied to someone you care about
( ) have no regrets
(X) ate a whole box of girl scout cookies by yourself

*Probably while drunk

SciFi geeks around the world in mourning

Sad to have to report this if you haven't seen the news yet, but James Doohan, Scotty of Star Trek, passed away today. It's too bad, as I always thought he was the heart and humor of the Enterprise crew. Now I have a yearning to watch Star Trek IV. Maybe this weekend. That and Spaceballs

"Aye. Hello, computer."
"Try the keyboard."
"Keyboard. How quaint."

(Must attempt to not include obligatory "Beam Me Up, Scotty" reference)

Story linky

20 people and many questions

Stole From Ryan and Beckie.
The Rules: First list twenty people you know in any order, and then scroll down and answer the questions. Don't peek at the questions before writing down your list of people.

1) John
2) Chris
3) Dan
4) Lani (my sister)
5) Beckie
6) Jessica
7) Austin
8) Jenn
9) Jackie
10) Sarah
11) Drew
12) Ryan
13) DannyC
14) Julie
15) Jim D
16) Mitica
17) Dan Fanton (A.K.A. Don Santon)
18) Jared
19) Michelle
20) Chris3

Answer these questions without changing the order of the people listed above.

How did you meet number 17?

Dan knew someone in the fraternity somehow and he got recruited in and I think I met him at Whirlyball. He introduced me to Napster.

Should numbers 3 and 8 go out?

Um. Sure. Why not?

If number 5 died tomorrow, what would you do?

I would definitely be overcome with grief. I’m a big baby about these things now.

What is number 10’s middle name?

I don’t know, hmm. Stab in the dark: Marie (I know it’s Jessica’s middle name also, but it’s fairly common for girls.)

Who is number 13 going out with?

I think there’s this girl Meg(h?)an. They enjoy playing kickball. No, for real. But there’s always drinking afterward.

What would you do if number 15 kissed you?

Uh. Be really weirded out. ‘Cause, we like, work together.

Describe number 16 in 5 words.

Romanian bargain hunter buddy pal. (Eh, you try it.)

Is number 2 the sexiest person alive?

He thinks he is.

What is the strangest thing you know about number 9?

I don’t know if I know anything really strange about Jackie. Weird.

What would you do if number 7 killed someone?

Beckie’s answer was good for this, so yeah, I’d help them dispose of the, ahem, evidence.

Is number 1 your best friend?

I would hope so, how else could I have lived with the guy for 4 years. But it’s really about an 8-way tie for “Best.” Now “Bestest” is a different story.

When is number 6’s birthday?

November 12th. I will be sure to get her a lovely present.

Would/have numbers 12 and 8 date?

I don’t think Jenn has the right “equipment.” And they’re best friends. Hey, questions? What with the obsession with the relationships of Jenn anyway?

Do you know any of number 14’s family members or pets?

Well, considering I was in John and Julie’s wedding, I think I met all of her family, and Max I’ve known since John got him.

Who does number 20 like?

Both.

Would you ever make out with number 18?

I’m not into boys. And Jared’s a biggun.

Is number 3 a boy or girl?

He’s a boy. A “Badger Boy”

What is the best thing about number 7?

His science is so tight.

What do you really think about number 11?

Drew’s a great guy, but when it comes to women, he goes for the hamburger when he could really get steak.

What is number 15’s favorite band/singer?

Haha! Rush. “Dude, they can play in 9 different time signatures at the same time.”

Where has number 10 lived before they moved to where they live now?

She lived with Jackie and He-Who-Is-A-Dumbass. Did I say that out loud?

What neighborhood does number 3 live in?

The same one he always has, well excepting when he was in NYC. Grosse Pointe.

What school does number 6 go to?

The School of Becoming an Heiress. And Wayne State.

Are numbers 9 and 13 best friends?

No, I don’t think they’ve even met.

Does number 20 secretly like number 2?

That would be funny.

Would you ever date number 8?

Sure. But really, what is it about Jenn’s social life that is so damn interesting? Stupid Questions.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you know about number 4?

I think there’s hours of material here. Most of it too embarrassing to actually put to screen.

Somebody touch me!

[Cartman voice] I just bought the new Harry Potter Book. Who want to touch me? I said who wants to fucking touch me?![/Cartman voice]

It's been pretty good so far, even though between the Quixotic party last night and various other TV watching I haven't gotten too far. I'm a little lost and confused about what's going on, mostly because it's been so long since I read "Order of the Phoenix." I'm sure I'll figure it out after while.

You think you have it bad?

I've been watching "Hogan Knows Best" on VH1, and compared to Hulk Hogan, JoeBoo is a pushover. In one episode, his daughter (who's 16) has a date with a 22 year old dude, and he puts a GPS tracker in the her car, and make them take that car on their date. He calls them up when he sees them deviating from from the route. He also gave the dude a preinterview before he consented to allow this guy to date his daughter. Granted, it's no multipage questionaire, but I think Hulk Hogan is a bit more intimidating (especially physically) than JoeBoo.

I guess he doesn't have any movies to direct

Look at the From: line. I just thought this was kind of funny, and that you guys, (especially certain people) would understand and think this was funny too.
I mean really, the guy has to resort to sending out spam? Maybe it's some kind of viral marketing for Spamalot. Nah.

Ruffles have Canadian ridges!

So, after much research into it, it appears that Ruffles All-Dressed Chips are in fact, a Canada only flavour ("U" added to comply with strange Canadian/British extra letter conventions). FritoLay hardly even acknowledges that they have a Canadian branch. Ah, Canada, second class citizen in the snack food industry, I guess that's the reason they feel compelled to put the maple leaf in all of their signs. So you know they're Canadian, not just some knock-off of America. Must also be why there's Ketchup and Dill Pickle flavored chips there.

But back to the All-Dresed. They are so good, with an almost bar-b-que spicey tomatoey-ness but yet with enough of a vinegar bite to help offset the greasiness typical of all chips. I think I'm going to start a petition to FritoLay to get them to bring the All-Dressed chips to America.

Petition to make "All Dressed" Ruffles available in the US


Random other links from my potato chip research

some guy's chip bag collection

Gold'n Krisp, a local brand (a personal favorite from Ohio, near where my sister was born)

Blogtastic today

I don't know why, but I've been compelled to write a bunch today. Mostly inane stuff, but whatever.

I decided to check my hit counter and see where people are coming from (referals) and once again, "Joyce DeWitt nude" was one of the searches that led to my 'blog. Also, "Emmy Rossum hot" was another. I suppose you make any reference to "random celebrity" and "nude" and you get hits. Hmm. Brad Pitt. Angelina Jolie. Jen Aniston. Britney Spears. Demi Moore. Keira Knightly. Tom Cruise. Katie Holmes. Vince Vaughn. Jennifer Garner. Ben Affleck. Gar-fleck. J-Lo. Michael Vartan. Zsa-zsa Gabor. (ew)

Let's see what kind of hits I get now. Nude! Naked! Undressed!

Woo Lee Mammoth

I went with Austin to this restarant last night called Woo Lee Garden. I had passed by it a couple times and wondered what it was about, so we decided to give it a try.

I knew it was Korean/Japanese, but I didn't realize it was a Korean BBQ/Sushi buffet. It was really good.

They have these grills in the tables, and you cook the meat in front of you, and wrap it in lettuce. The sushi was also very good. I ate probably $20 worth of sushi. Then we hit the BBQ, there was bul-go-gi, kal-bi, and some other things I don't remember the names of.

After we had eaten quite a bit Austin and I began to wonder at the price, and realized it might be a bit pricey. It wasn't too bad, considering how much we ate. I think after tax and tip it was ~$27 apiece, which is more than what I would usually spend for dinner, is ok for a every-once-in-a-while meal. I thought it was worth it, especially for the experience.

Another thing, Austin told me that the dim-sum place, Shangri-La, has dim-sum until 2am at night. Wow! Dim-sum! Yeah! OK. Enough. Now, I really need lunch.

I am the crawling king snake

I'm shedding my skin. I know it's icky, but the peeling has begun from my sunburn. Just thought I'd share.

In other less disgusting news, I have received a second couch from my parents. It will be replacing my current couch. I need some help moving it though, so let me know if you'll be available anytime in the near future. The current couch will be moving to my basement or possibly the upstairs. I haven't decided. But it's pretty light, one person could almost move it if it weren't 6 feet long. So I need two people willing to help. There's leftover Canadian beer in the deal! And maybe pizza too.

Why am I obsessed with this?

More TomKat craziness, and the what the people think.

The Great Tom Cruise Backlash
By Mark Morford

Also, funny remix of the Oprah appearance.

Waxy.org: Tom Cruise Kills Oprah


OK, random other links of semi-amusingness.

Go Fug Yourself

NotFoolingAnybody.com

Statler and Waldorf on the movies

Ringtone Dancer

A couple cottage photos

Taken during a morning stroll


Taken the morning after


Taken to prove our thirst


Taken to show we were there


Taken to show how it went down

We Dry Hard*

Must blog on Tues...day... this morning is dragging on. Cottage was fun. My sunburn still is a bit sore. I should get more Aloe, although I did try cutting off a spear from the aloe plant I have. I smeared it on the shoulder, it smells a little funky, but it helped. The stuff from the store is just much more convenient. Much drunken fun had, the beach was nice, weather cooperated for the most part. Pictures to be posted later.

*Slogan for cement company in Tiverton. I think they must have had 14 year-old boys for their advertising team.